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petit_cochon1346 karma

This translator isn't really into nuance.

petit_cochon662 karma

Fragrances.

petit_cochon267 karma

Spot fucking on. It's horribly traumatic for women who've already been horribly traumatized. We need to do better, America.

petit_cochon218 karma

To add on to this, trauma affects our bonds of attachment, which is why self-awareness is so key. Great treatments for trauma exist. EMRD therapy helped me with my PTSD and, in turn, helped my relationship with my husband a lot. If you're with a respectful, caring partner, and you are willing to work at it, you can go a long way to stabilizing post trauma.

One thing people can do is take a look at their Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) score. NPR did a good piece on it. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean. Knowing your score can help you assess your needs and the impact of trauma in your life. The more we understand about our mental health, the more we can advocate for ourselves.

Another great thing to do is learn about your attachment style so you can understand how you bond with and relate to others. This is especially useful if you have been in abusive relationships or seem drawn to the wrong kind of person. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

I work with foster kids and youth who have aged out of foster care. Some of these kids go through hellish experiences and do amazingly well. Others cannot seem to stabilize and the trauma affects every aspect of their lives. Many factors go into that, but I am constantly amazed at the resiliency of the human spirit. If you think you're too "damaged" to have a healthy relationship, please try to re-frame that thinking. Say instead, "Maybe right now I'm struggling, or now isn't the right time, but if I work at it, I can have a healthy, happy relationship." If you've been through trauma, you may always have a voice deep down that says "I deserve bad things," but that voice doesn't have to dominate your world.

petit_cochon101 karma

You know what's funny is that a lot of lawyers also used to want to be lawyers. ;)