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pensiveone2 karma

Excellent. Hats off of you for your good planning! I am working on getting that together now, better late than never!

pensiveone2 karma

Well in the long run, when you think about it, a new car gets old fast but changing a kid's life means it will only get better and better. We have never lost money on investments or new cars because we put all our money into kids, and we have what we need so long as we have a safe place to live, money to cover the bills and a car that runs. But I am serious about trying to project what it will cost down the line because the costs add up to a staggering sum, way more than we could have imagined. So my advice to you is to try to figure it all out as much as possible so that you will have some retirement (We have not seen to that yet! That is on the docket for immediate needs in the future.). And thank you for caring about kids!

pensiveone2 karma

From experience taking in kids and loving them (not through foster care but some through guardianship and others because they just needed a home), they get really expensive when they are in the teen years - glasses, dental issues, sports and the big one, college. My husband and I both work full time and we have spent all of our income for years loving and caring for kids, all of whom have lost at least one parent due to death and some of whom literally would have had no place to go - aging out of the foster system and they had had bad experiences, undocumented, abused and the state was unconcerned, parent to ill to care for them (guardianship). We love all the kids and the kids are all getting it together and finally about 15 or so years into it we are pulling some off the assembly line with college degrees ready to go out into the world, but they all still need love, attention and some modicum of support. It takes enormous energy and dedication and a lot more money than anyone would imagine to help a kid over life's many hurdles. It is without a doubt the best thing we have ever done. And OP is right, families can be extremely angry and judgmental but we do not differentiate between bio and all the other kids. If someone needs glasses, or had teeth everywhere and needs braces or has some other issue or need, we work to make it happen. One of the best things is that many of the kids are really close and by and large they are all supportive of one another. So, thank you for what you are doing, but try to look down the line and figure out the enormous costs of college (even with scholarship, grants and loans) and of all the other crazy things they will need on the way - band instruments, a half dozen batting gloves (because they are so easy to lose), driver's ed if you let them drive before 18, cars, insurance, medical care, not to mention lots of hot showers ($$$), clothes and food 24/7. I joke about the termites in my kitchen. The milk is always empty and leftovers turn to dust while I sleep. And my kids get jobs and work for spending money and such. So it costs more than you can imagine, and is exhausting but it is all worth it! So, thank you and good luck!