pcarvious

Could porn and video games be a symptom, not the problem?

I don't know if you're aware, but there are a number of male subcultures that have appeared over the last twenty or so years. These subcultures, Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) and Pick Up Artists (PUA), are both growing relatively rapidly. Each of them is defined by a different perspective on interactions with society and the general break down of what is viewed as the social contract. Men are still held to their end of the contract while women have been allowed to break it.

To further this, men often are put in situations where their traditional gender roles are expected and deviation from these roles often leads to social stigma. Porn and Video games are places where men can exist outside of the rigid social roles that are normally attached to men. To further this, we can look at boys from an early age. If you follow labeling theory, boys are often marginalized by their teachers in schools. Ally Char-Chellman covers this topic in her ted talk. To tie this to labeling theory, boys are often told, repeatedly, or through example that they will fail or aren't as good as girls. This has been reaffirmed by gender based bias in the classroom PDF warning.

Now to another point, are men being made risk-averse by porn, or are they risk-averse and turning to porn? If you look at divorce rates within the United States, they are relatively high. This is just a quick and dirty look at divorce rates. However, there is little social incentive for men to marry if they're going to be divorced almost half the time or more. With alimony laws and child support, the amount of money that men are having to spend is relatively massive compared to their take home income. Often times more than half will disappear into a system that does not guarantee access to their children. Further, these risks don't only happen within marriage. Unmarried men who become fathers of children have to deal with Putative father's registries, and other legal hurdles to become a part of their children's lives. You may have heard recently about the head of the Utah Adoption Council retiring. Fit fathers were pushed aside to allow for hasty adoptions. Even those that followed all the necessary legal steps were forced out.

Is it a wonder that men are becoming risk-averse? Society has said jumped and many men have only to have the floor pulled out from under them.

Add the conceptual nature of ASL versus the word structure of english and you add another layer of fun.

Hi Erin,

Thank you for helping start the shelter movement.

What advice do you have for men and women seeking shelter in DV situations? Also, what surprised you most about how the shelter movement has changed over the years?

What do you consider to be the biggest philosophical or social hurdle that men currently face in regards to domestic violence, sexual assault, and rape? Also why is it the biggest hurdle and what can be done to overcome it?

I'm a poster in some other subreddits where there are definite political and social issues discussed that go against the mainstream perception of the issues. This can lead to a variety of issues. I generally expect downvotes on anything I post, and honestly don't care.