pandabear34

I was born with a chromosome imbalance that left me without a vaginal opening. They thought I was a boy when I was first born due to no opening and a larger than normal clit. A few specialist saw me during my first month and scratched their heads. A brand spanking new intern stuck her finger up my butt and felt ovaries and exclaimed "all girl on the inside". About age 6 they performed my first of 4 surgeries to make a natural opening. Never had to do the sticks, thank goodness, but did have a sort of plug that was stitched in place in between surgeries. Had they waited until I was older, I would have had to have do the AGERS thing through my abdomen to make a hole. I don't have much memory of it and I am still very "tight" because of it. No complaints from the husband and never had much pain either. I consider myself very lucky to have been so fortunate on all accounts. You are one hell of a strong woman and your story is crazy but our stories make us who we are and I love that you wear your story proudly. I also had 7 miscarriages (over 11 years) before finally having our daughter. The pregnancy after my daughter was an ectopic one and they took ovaries and tubes. I do hope you can lavish a child with all the love you can give someday. We were happily looking into adoption when I got pregnant and "it" stuck. I do hope the judge sides on your side. Internet hugs and best wishes that your story may have the happy ending you so very much deserve. ♡

I do "5 thing you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste." My panic attacks are usually through result of me harping on the "it's happening, I'm going to die or pass out" so I distract myself with this method. I also used to scream stop for as long as I could in my head but that didn't always work. Then of course there's the "I give up, I'm going to die, let it finally happen. I'm sick and tired of being scared of it, so let it happen." Seems the submission to the feeling tends to give it less power. Also, Prozac. I honestly couldn't leave the house prior to Prozac 14 years ago. When you find something that works, practice it. I've been successfully dealing with, riding out and letting panic attacks happen since 2003. Good luck my friend.

It depends. Most days, a little drained but deep breathing helps to restore that. However if I have been drinking the night before, look out!! I probably won't be functioning the whole day. Panic attack after panic attack. I'm just a complete mess for like 9 hours. My docs used to prescribe me Xanax which everyone just LOVE however I feel that is what makes me feel like a zombie. Take a Xanax for a panic attack that will last me 10 to 15 minutes and then feel the emptiness after effects for 4 hours? Or deal with my attack and go on about my day mostly untouched? I prefer the ladder, however this is after many years of practice as I've said before.