oodja

It skips a generation, actually.

Please don't drive. I ask you this as the son of a woman who has a closed brain injury- ironically enough, from an auto accident- who should not be driving but insists on doing so, despite the fact that she is incapable of multitasking and could easily cause an accident if she is distracted at a critical moment.

Even though I can't keep her off the road (inexplicably she is still legally permitted to drive), maybe I can convince someone else at risk not to get behind the wheel. If you in fact have a 96% of sudden cardiac death at any given moment, the only time you should be in a car is as a passenger.

I'm truly sorry about your condition, and understand the impulse to throw caution to the wind in the face of such a random bullshit fate you have suffered. Try to remember, however, that every time you drive you run the risk of inflicting an equally arbitrary amount of suffering on the world. That being said, I hope you find your peace- in whatever form it may come.

Just stumbled across this classic again recently: Stalin was inspecting one of the collective farms during his second Five Year Plan and asked one of the farmers about the potato crop.

"Comrade Stalin," the farmer replied. "We have so many potatoes this harvest that piled on top of one another they would reach all the way up to God!"

"But God does not exist," Stalin said.

"And neither do the potatoes, Comrade Stalin."

Creepiest. Tailgate. Ever.

Tweeting @ComcastCares used to work as well.