obscurethestorm

I came here to ask this too.

Psoriasis girl here, senior in HS. Screw skin problems.

I will be a senior in high school this fall. I struggled with bulimia during my 7th and 8th grade years, when a lot of bad things were happening in my family.

My adoptive father abused my family, and had us all very emotionally run down. I was not his child, and my half brother and sister are both very thin and muscular. I, however, am a little pudgy. I thought that maybe if I could look like his other children, he wouldn't be so angry all the time. Maybe he would stop hitting my mom and telling me that I was worthless.

It started really simply. I decided I wanted my hipbones to be prominent like the models in the magazines. It looked so good, and I wanted to look good like them. I started going out after every meal, walking my dog for an hour or two. There were woods about a 5 minute walk from my house. I would go there, and vomit into the open drainage system after every meal. Eventually, it progressed.

During my 8th grade year, I switched schools and lost all of my close friends. I didn't talk to anyone at my new school for about six months, except to answer direct questions. After I started to talk, people began to notice me more. They noticed the long sleeves I always wore (I had been cutting since we moved, but thankfully never cut deep enough for any noticeable scars) and how I would go to the bathroom directly after lunch.

One of the more popular girls in my class came into the bathroom after me one day. I recognized her by her shoes. I waited until she had just flushed the toilet, thinking that she wouldn't be able to hear me. She did. She reported it to the school office, and I was sent in to see the school social worker. I lied and told her everything was fine.

That night when I got home, I finished dinner and said that I was going to take the dog for her walk, just like always. My father slammed his hand on the table and screamed at me, "You can't go if you're just gonna make yourself puke." They had called my parents, and my dad answered the phone. All this did was make him angry, and made life a lot worse for me for a time. My depression grew deeper, but I'm a good actress, and everyone thought all my problems were gone and that I was fine.

I didn't stop purging until the summer before my freshman year. I had lost weight, but not the amount that I wanted to. Going into high school I was about 100 lbs. My best friend noticed and helped me stop, convincing me that what I was doing was killing myself in a slow way. He became my support system, and I'll never stop being thankful for that.

For a while after I stopped purging I monitored my diet very closely, but eventually I came to realize that what I was doing was silly. Those who cared about me didn't care about my weight, and those who cared about my weight didn't care about me. I still catch myself with those thoughts sometimes, and I guess I'm not fully recovered if I think them. But I know that right now I have a boyfriend who loves me, and a family that actually supports me (my mom and siblings and I left my abusive father a year ago last in June 15th), and friends that care. I'm a bit overweight (it's kind of a natural thing in my family). My BMI is 25.7, but I'm working to get down to a normal weight for my age and height in a healthy way. I know that I might always have these thoughts, but I have to keep them in check. I've never gotten professional help for my ED, but I never believed it was as severe as other peoples. Maybe that's just me. I know that I can keep being healthy as long as those around me help. I'm still typing because I don't know how to end this story. It doesn't really have an ending yet, I guess. Sorry for this being so damn long. By the way, I think you're really pretty. :)

TL;DR: I used to throw up a lot. Bulimia sucks.

Can you tell me what the stance on states voting on marriage was when it was decided that interracial marriage would be allowed? I'm at school (coincidentally about to go to Constitutional Law class) and am crediting from my phone. Wouldn't the same standard from then apply to now? If not, why? Thanks for doing this AMA!

Definitely. I'm not LDS myself but a lot of my friends are.