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If Applebee's is the malt liquor of the restaurant world, Golden Corral is like the $2 pints of paint stripper that are non-poisonous enough to be called vodka.

Go to Texas and grab one from a tree. A sun warmed Ruby Red is fantastic.

I went to a Walgreens apparently right after some kid tried to buy the same type of Camels as me. I was on hour 20 of a voluntary overtime shift grabbing sunflower seeds, Ramen noodles, coffee, and a pack of cigarettes. They wouldn't sell me the cigarettes.

I still feel bad for this kid and if he still worked there I would apologize, but I had been up for going on 30 hours and went the fuck off. I was hungry, tired, and hadn't had a smoke for 6 hours. All I wanted in life was a cigarette, a cup of noodles, and coffee.

I informed him in no way shape or fucking form was I buying them for a minor, if he wanted to ride the 5 blocks back he could watch me smoke a cigarette, and if he wanted I would empty the "whole goddamn freezer section and leave it in a corner so you have to put everything back".

Again I am not proud of my actions and would have told myself to fuck off, but I got my pack of cigarettes and they watched me drive off to go monitor emergency generators for another 10 hours until the Monday shift showed up.

And I've been in that situation before. If I could find the guy I'd buy him a beer. But what started as a 10 hour shift starting Saturday turned into a 32 hour shift ending Monday morning. I just wanted food, coffee, and cigarettes.

I did make bank in overtime, but it was a bitch.