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nomadruby73 karma

I was neglected/had some trauma in my childhood, and I struggle to feel. Feelings were a joke and we would say “I only have one feeling”. After some sexual abuse from a partner its like I’m watching my life happen from behind myself or a movie screen. I know I love my friends but I don’t feel the feeling. I’ve been in therapy but the nonexistent or watered down feelings haven’t gotten much better. Any recommendations?