noholds

it's seen as a women's issue when the vast majority of these sites are of men.

Do you have any evidence to back that up? Because otherwise I will base my opinion on my anecdotal evidence, which consists of "most women I know couldn't give two shits about dick picks, especially if it's not of one they have an actual physical connection to", which would lead me to assume 99% of victims in this are women.

a modern Judy Bloom

Fuck you, I'm not that old!

Since the OP didn't answer, I'll give it a go:

So since there are no $100 cups, I'm just going to describe what the most expensive coffee(s) I've had tasted like.

As a precursor: Similarly to wine, past a certain point you aren't paying for "quality" or "better" taste you are paying for novelty or limited supply or both. You aren't paying for "This tastes better than anything I've had before", you're paying for "This tastes like nothing I've had before". Diminishing returns are a big thing. Paying three times the price does not get you coffee that is three times as good (past a certain point). It might get you something new and cool but not "objectively" better than what you usually have. More than once have I thought that I like what I'm drinking more than what I usually drink but I wouldn't buy it again at that price point.

The closest one could describe the most expensive coffees I've had (a few Geishas and a Sudan Rume I'm drinking right now) in general is somewhere between fruit and herbal tea but unlike any you've had before. Like if you've never had anything but consumer grade coffee and I'd handed you this drink blindfolded, you would swear that it's a tea of some sort.
You take a sip and you're waiting for the burnt bitterness you've learned to expect from coffee but it just never arrives. There's a very present sweetness and it feels a lot more fluid in your mouth than the coffee you're used to. Think camomile tea. (Or as my dad tends to say: "Are you sure you brewed this right? It feels a little thin.")
Then you're often presented very clear tasting notes. Mind you, I don't mean "this wine kinda tastes like red berries", I mean "Somebody put blueberry juice in my lavender tea and then told me it's coffee to fuck with me.". Some are that present and identifiable. I don't have a great (and definitely not a trained palate) but that stuff is clear as day. (The Sudan Rume I have right now is what I imagine grapefruit tea to taste like. There's an intense bitterness on top of the sweetness but not like the one you get from chomping on burnt stuff but literally the one you get from eating a grapefruit.)
And then it just kinda fades out. Not in a bad way. In a "I just took a sip of coffee and my mouth doesn't taste like crap for minutes after" way. Sometimes one of the tastes lingers but it never overstays its welcome.

I'm gonna go against the grain here just a little bit and say that although region is important, processing and the respective varietal will be a better predictor for taste.

You see, washed African coffees (or rather the typical varietals grown there) are definitely what one would categorize as "light" but more often then not not especially "fruity" (not that there aren't fruit notes but I don't feel it's a fair assessment to call them fruity). They have more of a vegetal or floral profile; something you'd expect from tea. Which is great but may not be what you're asking for.

Definitely look for naturally (or honey) processed coffees.

Ethiopia is kinda running their own game when it comes to varietals and you'll often only get "heirloom" as a pointer but you can never go wrong with a natural Guji. Those are fruit bombs.

From other African countries or Central America (sans Mexico) a safe bet for some fruity goodness is naturally (or sometimes anaerobically, but those vary wildly) processed Bourbon.

The L varietals also tend to produce some pretty fruity coffee but are more diverse in where they end up (tastewise) than Bourbon.

edit: Just a slight addendum because you might also enjoy this: Pacamara is also a cool, really fruity varietal, though I've found they get you a denser cup. I like to think of them as the fruit milkshakes of coffee.

I hope I'm not too late for the party, so here goes:

If I hit you really hard, what's the language that you would spontaneously cry out in?