navkat

There are standards of grooming, health and dress as a prerequisite for entry to Colette...at least in New Orleans, there is.

It's interesting to me that you don't seem to discern between Polyamory and "swinging." I've always seen these as distinctive.

My experiences with swingers has been that it's focused around consensual, fulfilling but mainly sexual gratification for one or both members of an otherwise comitted, emotionally-monogamous couple while Polyamory is more about perusing multiple loving relationships.

I find it necessary to make this distinction because poly is better equipped to handle things like jealousy and other people's feelings while the swinger's crowd can often be rife with narcissism, brutally irresponsible hedonism and lack of concern for people's feelings. This is not always the case but it often is.

Would you agree with this assessment?

Yes. Jealousy is a normal part of human emotion.

There's a concept in the polyamory community called "compersion." It's a portmanteau of compassion and immersion. It's when your selfless love for your partner drives you to feel joy when they are getting their needs met and desires fulfilled...even when those needs are difficult for you to understand or accept.

The idea is to go beyond simply being compassionate for the fact that your partner needs other lovers to be fulfilled (and therefore, merely tolerating the fulfillment) to a place where you're actually invested in her happiness and joy with sound knowledge that her happiness makes your love fuller and more rewarding to her and brings the two of you closer.