michiganpickle2 karma2013-03-06 10:56:31 UTC
You could not be more wrong. My wife and I adopted because we did not want to bring more people into an over crowded world. Every dime that has come into the house from the government has gone into a special account. My son has close to $50K to pay for things the state does not during college and the rest will be used to put a down payment on a house when he is ready to settle down. Offering up this stereotype makes you look like an idiot. 3/5 house holds on our street have adopted children. Trust me when I say that none of us need any additional money. We adopted/fostered for the right reasons, because we want to help someone.
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michiganpickle1 karma2013-03-06 18:09:49 UTC
We both felt we were too old to start a family. We were married at 40. We both wanted to raise a family and neither of us wanted to do the diaper thing. We were not hesitant. Nervous/scarred you bet. When we adopted our son he was 12. He is graduating in less than 90 days and it all went too fast. Our only regret was that we did not adopt some one a bit younger. Once we get him off to college and we take a vacation for the two of us we may do it again. As to your statement on Foster care, I think he was better off in a foster home that was in it for the $$ than the home with his biological mother. He was never abused. His bio mother just did not have the mental capacity to take care of him or his sisters. He has said on numerous occasions that he is much better off with us than any of the places he has been before arriving at our doorstep. My wife and I rode him like a rented mule on his grades and life choices. He has been accepted into all the colleges he applied for. We have a strong relationship. We do not have kids of our own so I cannot comment on if it would be stronger if they were blood.
To help your argument with your partner. Tell him that there are too many people in this world already. It is a pretty shitty place to be and why would he want to bring his kid into this world? I often joke with my wife that our son did not destroy her body. We did not have to go through that period that makes most parents start to look really old (crying babies). The last thing I would offer is by adopting an older person The state pays for their first two years of college and typically there is a stipend to help support them because they are stamped with a label called effective detachment disorder. The state pays us like $800/month because of this label. We put that in an account with his name on it to pay for things in college that are not covered in the tuition reimbursement. We did that so that he would know we were not in it for the money but to make a better person for this world. I might also offer you could move towards it by becoming a Big Sister. When he sees you happy and developing attachments in that relationship it could move his opinion to your side.
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