mainlysane

That's a tough question.

I do believe there should be consequences for abandoning responsibility, but the prison time seemed unnecessarily harsh. I have known fathers who are behind over $30,000 who have never spent a day in county jail, let alone gone to prison for it.

I think that putting anyone in prison for failure to pay child support is a mistake inasmuch as it makes it that much more difficult for them to find work with a recent criminal record. Also, instead of allowing that person to work and make payments They are basically made a burden to the tax payers who have to support them, in addition to the child.

It's a broken system. I think it would have been better to place me into some sort of work-release environment. Make me work until I have paid off a certain amount and then let me go. I guess that was not an option for me since I had to be extradited back to Missouri from Indiana.

edit: grammar (reading it made my head hurt)

I have a number of mental health issues that kept me from finding work after I lost my job in 2007. I had applied for disability but was rejected and then I moved out of state before I could make it to the appeal. I was making partial payments as best as I could but I did not know how Missouri's law was structured so I never made a "full" monthly payment.

1. I was behind about 3 years worth (just over $8000).

2. I never received a warning. I just got my normal monthly payment notice right up until the officers knocked on my door and "invited" me to accompany them.

3. I was making partial payments, but the law in Missouri is quite clear that at least one "full" payment must be made within a 12 month period. I would have been better served in saving up my partial payments and making one full payment it seems. Fool me once....

4. I owe $278 per month.

My cell mate was a mentally unstable gentleman who bashed in someone's skull with a baseball bat during a meth rage. Despite that he was nice enough while we housed together. Since it was a maximum security prison I was in my cell for about 23 hours out of the day so there wasn't a lot of time for socializing.

I guess it would be fair to say that I was friendly, without really making any friends. I tried to be respectful and polite. I avoided getting mixed up in any bullshit and just tried to focus on getting out as soon as I could.

My only real encounters with other inmates came when we went to eat or when we got a chance to visit the prison library. I talked to quite a few guys. Most of them were going to spend most, if not all, of their lives inside, so many of them were jealous to hear that I would be getting out so soon. It was sad to hear so many stories of misery. Inmates in general are not terrible people... they're just people. People who have made mistakes, but people nonetheless.

I hope so. I mentioned on another comment that my ex is decent enough to let my mother have some contact with him so he does still have a connection to my side of the family, even if it is only through her.

My mother is very careful not to mention me around my ex or my son for fear of saying something that ends her ability to see him, but I guess last year when my mother was visiting he came right out and asked my mother how I was doing. He mentioned that all he knows about me is that I'm really tall and I have bad hygiene. I laughed a lot at the last part.

I guess he is beginning to act out in school, even going so far as to give another kid a black eye for teasing him about his t-shirt. I feel like that is probably my fault. I feel like I am letting him down big time.

Your story gives me hope. I know I can't go back and change what was, but I look forward to making our relationship strong for the future.

I don't fault your logic. You couldn't possibly dislike me more than I dislike myself sometimes.

I didn't think I was rationalizing. I was trying to answer questions and explain what I think happened, but I can see how it would come off that way.

Personally, I'd rather hold a job than be a recipient of the welfare dole. I'd feel a lot better about myself. However, I would invite you to walk a mile in my shoes before you pass judgment. That way, when you do judge me, you're a mile away, and you have my shoes.