lolwtferic

So what you're saying is that the male platypus essentially beats the shit out of his mate after getting her pregnant, resulting in a traumatic disdain for the male gender, ensuring she doesn't run off to another?

Dude that platypus is an asshole.

Or an American R&B singer.

You sound hideous.

Who is your favorite NBA player and why is it Nick Young?

MR BALLMER,

THANKS FOR BUYING THE CLIPPERS. SERIOUSLY. THE DAY ADAM SILVER SAID 'FOR LIFE', I CHANGED MY FIRST CHILD'S NAME TO ADAMSILVER. HE DIDN'T LIKE IT. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A KID. I JUST STARTED CALLING THIS BOY I MET AT THE PARK 'ADAMSILVER' AND NOW I CAN'T HANG OUT THERE ANYMORE.

ANYWAY, WHEN THE SALE WAS FINALIZED AND YOU BECAME THE NEW OWNER, I WAS SO EXCITED I PUNCHED MY BROTHER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD FOR SOME REASON. I WAS LIKE "WOOP TODAY'S A NEW DAY FOR LA!", AND BUT THEN GOT A JOB IN THE BAY AREA AND WAS SAD THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WATCH YOUR TEAM - OUR TEAM - PLAY AT STAPLES ANYMORE. NOW I'M SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF WARRIORS FANS. THAT KINDA SUCKS.

BUT YEAH, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW HOW PROUD I WAS TO BE A CLIPPER FAN SINCE YOU CAME AND I'M GLAD WE HAVE SOMEONE ENTHUSIASTIC BE A PART OF THE TEAM.

PROMISE ME PLEASE THAT YOU WAN'T DRAFT AND ROOKIES AND CALL TELL THEM AND MAKE EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SAY "YOU ROCK!"

MY REAL QUESTION FOR YOU IS: With what our boys went through last postseason, what's the most difficult life experience you have gone through and how can you relate that to the Clippers organization as a whole?

P.S. - CAN WE HANG UP RALPH LAWLER'S JERSEY?