lindsayelyse

Yes yes yes. I've never really talked about this before. One of the reasons I don't stream often is because I can not handle the people. I try really hard to ignore everything and just got on with my life, but sometimes it's really hard. It's just like... who are you people, why do you treat people you don't know like this. I go online and stream, and I'm like man I love this game, I'm excited to share this with you and hope you guys have fun! Then I'm greated with 'SHOW US YOUR BOOBS, TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT, YOU SUCK AT GAMES GO BACK TO BEING AN ATTENTION WHORE'. Like first off, no one is making you stay in my stream chat. Second, why? Like why do you say things like that. Is it to hurt me? Why do you want to hurt me? If you were saying that to my face, would you still feel that way? If I respond and I'm like hey, that's not nice, why do you still say mean things? I crushes me, man! Like I love doing this stuff, and people make me not love it! I want to share experiences, but not with people like that! And the worst thing is when I make a cosplay and people are like NO BOOBS WHERE ARE THE BOOBS WOW FINALLY A COSPLAY WITH NO BOOBS. I am not boobs. I am a person and I do things and I work really really hard. I'm sorry that my Cersei Lannister cosplay doesn't show any skin, but JESUS was that thing a challenge. I am SO unbelievably proud of that costume. It's so hard to put your heart into something and let it out onto the internet like "Look what I did isn't it cool I'm so happy!!" and then be greeted with 'you dont look like her, you should have done something else, wow no boobs finally, thats the wrong color, thats the wrong hair, that armor looks cheap" WHY. WHY DO YOU SAY THESE THINGS. I do not understand. /endrant I guess to answer your question though, I feel sad. I feel hurt and I feel like I'm not good enough. But I try to ignore it because I know it will never stop. I try to be the bigger person and I try to just not let it affect me. I will make costumes, I will play games, I will do what I love and nothing is going to stop me.

They are real! I've been very lucky my whole life to have nicely sized boobs, you can ask anyone in 8th grade they made fun of me. I definitely use some tricks to make them look nicer every once in a while!

It's... interesting. I don't really know the words. I hate being referred to as a 'gamer girl' and will NEVER consider myself one. I AM A GAMER. It does not matter that I am a woman. But, I will admit that being a woman has given me more opportunity in the gaming world. It's kind of terrible, but it's true. There are so many amazing people out there, so much talent, and I feel like sometimes I get things because of the fact that I'm a girl, not because I'm the best. People give me things because I'm a girl. They treat me differently, like I'm "not good enough". I tested it once in WoW, I played a Male Orc DK and then a female BElf Priest. My orc just got yelled at for messing up. My priest was answered with things like oh its okay you did your best. It's disheartening. But then at the same time, I feel like I'm also empowering women! I haven't given up yet and I'm working hard to get women to be accepted. They see that I can host for MLG or that I can stream for 2K and even though it's male dominated, I was the one chosen, so why couldn't they get into it too!

Kingdom Hearts. It is my life.

I was fortunate to to go Chile this year for a convention. It was INSANE. I was literally treated like an A-List celebrity. People outside my hotel waiting for me to come out, 'paparazzi' at my booth 24/7 taking pictures of me eating and weird things like that. I had a main stage presentation and decided to take a selfie on stage and it was just a madhouse! So many people crowding around to get in the picture. It was just amazing, I was crying the whole time just because of the support. I mean, I appreciate support from everyone, but to have that many people in one place freaking out that I came to their convention was just so overwhelming. The Chilean people are incredible and were all so nice to me and the cosplayers are SO talented. Such an amazing experience, definitely want to go back and see those guys!