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we literally have to shower every single day

Wait... what?

This is a really common complaint but usually unfounded. However, I caught ours steeling from us. Hard to explain if you're not around meat, but here's the left and right side of the steak bearing part of a "cow". That gap on the left side is the steaks they stole. Second picture is to show how you can reassemble the steaks into a reassembled "cow".

They stole about 6 1.5" thick ribeyes, it was prime marbled steak (though over fed and under muscled).