lcmft

I think that these relationships can be healthy, and the only reason people think they are not is because of societal norms. However, a person who does not want to be in an open relationship but is doing so at the request of a partner is over-functioning, and that, is not healthy. I think they are fine as long as all partners truly mutually consent to the relationship structure.

I can talk about things as long as they are De-identified. I had a client that would bark at me like a dog when he would get uncomfortable. I had another client that would swallow Barbie Dolls heads as a sexual fetish.

I had a guy in his 20s that saw me for a year, and then discharged. About a week later, I got a letter from him in the mail that said if it wasn't for me, he would have killed himself. He said he was planning to kill himself the day that he came for his first appointment, but because I gave him some hope, he changed his mind. He never told me about it in therapy, but told me about it later. That was a pretty awesome feeling to know I had impacted him so much and didn't even know it.

Sometimes, couples will come for help, but what they really want is for the therapist to give them permission to get divorced or break up. They want to be able to say, "I tried therapy and it didn't work. I did all I could do." For those couples, yes, it is too late if they have stopped caring and are just going to therapy to prove a point. However, as long as people still feel something, even if it is anger, then it's not too late. It's when people become indifferent or stop caring that they are in trouble.

Yes.... relationships need to be void of defensiveness, criticism of each other, stonewalling (not talking about problems), and contempt (as in, being mean to be mean... name calling, emotional abuse, etc). Also, sex is an important part of a relationship as well, and lack of sex can be replaced with conflict, and that conflict can drive the four traits I mentioned above. When people are turning towards each other, and are all-in to make a marriage work, most of the time, they will be okay.... it's when they begin to turn away and stop caring that they could be in trouble.