lambertb

Love the show, and have been watching on and off since the mid 80s. Some amazing shows during the fall of Communism. Anyway, you've been a good addition. I have a superficial question that I hope you won't mind. You are by far the best dressed anchor, and I wonder where you buy your clothes :-)

Keep up the good work.

Preparation before the trip, set and setting during the trip, and integration after the trip are important for a good experience. You’ve learned the hard way. Check out the MAPS website for some possible sources of help.

I wonder if it might be helpful to reframe your experience. Thinking of yourself as “fundamentally broken” locks you in to the current state and also pathologizes yourself. Nothing about you is pathological. I would describe you as deep in grief. Grief is the appropriate response to loss. But grief has a trajectory. When you’re deep in it it feels like it will never end, but it does. Loss is inevitable in our lives. When we accept that everything changes and ends, we gain more appreciation for the present and for what’s still here. Breathe. Try not to be self destructive. Let time pass. Get therapy if you can afford it. Good luck.

What drug caused these symptoms? Was it a hallucinogen?

As for therapy, I’ve had tons, both couples and individual. And it helped me tremendously. It doesn’t go fast, and it doesn’t work miracles. But it helped me heal and grow and get through some rough times. Taught me about myself and my reactions and patterns. I highly recommend it.

Some of the symptoms you describe are symptoms of psychosis. The label isn’t as important as finding some treatment to help you. There are antipsychotic medicines that can quiet the hallucinations and give you a a chance to rest and get better.

Good luck.

I agree about more trips being risky. Might want to seek professional help, from a psychiatrist, to deal with the psychotic symptoms.

Don’t put too much credence on the true self stuff. It’s not science. And it’s not even coherent for the most part.

You had a string, drug-induced experience. It left you with some troubling symptoms. Hopefully those will resolve with time.

Even the most spiritual person has to live most of their life in the ordinary world of ordinary waking consciousness. That’s where you want to find some stability.

Maybe some simple mindfulness meditation might help. Spend time in nature and with friends to get you grounded in the social world again.