kula_shakur

I’m curious about the distinction between what you’re experiencing and depression. Is this simply a rebranding of depressive tendencies as is seen more prevalently in Japan?

I ask because I have struggled with bouts of major depression and steady low-level depression for many years and, honestly, regardless of what you want to label it, this is just depression, imho.

The solution, for me personally, was getting my testosterone levels checked, finding out I had the testosterone of a 75 year old and then getting weekly injections to remedy what ended up being a pretty normal chemical imbalance. Every symptom you’re expressing was exactly what I was experiencing on some level.

Now, after 4 months of treatment, I cannot imagine my life any other way. I don’t feel hyped up or strange or not myself - just normal for the first time. Have you explored medical options? I tend to think there is a tremendous percentage of the population that is experiencing symptoms of low testosterone and thinking it’s untreatable depression. There’s hope out there in different forms.

I see this AMA taking a nosedive pretty quickly. I think the issue is that “regular” people want to believe that it’s possible to become an author and live that dream, however, when you talk about selling a hot rod to finance a writing career, it makes you seem out of touch with the idea you’re putting forth. People want practical, tangible answers because they are literally basing their future decisions on the precedent you’re setting. If it seems like you’re already a little Junior with a trust fund, none of this really matters because we all know wealthy people can do whatever they want while the rest of us struggle to find time between working 50 hours/week and raising a family and writing maybe a couple pages a month, if we’re lucky.

Lastly, because this has to be a question or they’ll delete it: Where do you get your ideas from?

Edit - I want to be very clear since some people seem to think I'm being overly critical. I am not suggesting that once you cross the threshold into being a full-time writer, you lose touch with reality. I'm saying that if your method for financing a writing career comes with any caveats that don't include "I was discovered busting my fucking ass and on the merit of my writing and NOT because I was able to spend a couple years writing my dream novel because I was already financially independent and could quit my job."

The issue is, deep down, people want a hero to be lifted from their ranks. We are writers, are we not? Isn't that the crux of every epic story we tell? The hero is pulled from the muck, kills some dragons and gets the crown. If Prince Ruprick is out hunting and happens to slay a dragon, no one gives a fuck.

If this dude is actually a good writer, good for him. I genuinely hope it works out.

We are close to the same age. I feel so incredibly strong about the testosterone check, I evangelize it all the time. If you go back through my comment history about 2 weeks or ago, I conversed with another guy and wrote a very detailed response on my treatment and some tips for getting better. Give it a read if you want.

I obviously cant promise anything but, for me, it was the whole shebang. I am back to being a human being after about 10 years of living a weird alien existence.

As a former evangelical, I’ve been talking with people about this kind of thing for years.

What are your feelings about fundamental Christianity (in any form) being essentially a death cult?

We are so groomed to hear Christian music singing shit like “Oh God, I just wanna be with you!” “When I get to Heaven”….etc etc.

It’s wrapped up in this pretty package, very emotionally charged but, if you really listen to what these preachers are saying and the lyrics of the songs we sing, it’s extraordinarily death-centric.

This also begs the argument that the fundies are effectively trying to bring about the apocalypse by burning down the entire system (ie. Voting for guys like Trump)

Any thoughts on this aspect of Christianity?

I’ll take a gyro