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koosobie120 karma

How do you explain Mindfulness for people who try and use it to "fix problems" rather than understanding the true meaning (intent)? I have tried to explain it many times but can't seem to explain in good enough terms that others can understand.

Additionally, do you have a resource for staying on track with mindfulness? My personal problem is I cannot seem to keep at it regularly. (looking for the motivational aspect)


koosobie64 karma

Do you think Men are discouraged to think of their disorder as a disorder?

Do you think they receive equal quality of care as contrasted by women with eating disorders?

koosobie20 karma

Yes, the protagonists often told that they had nobody to relate to or didn't acknowledge it in the first place because of the stigma 'an eating disorder is for girls' and at the treatment centres they only saw women. This created a lot of shame too, which of course doesn't help in a process where it is important to learn to talk about about your emotions.

Was this from their family/friends or physicians? It would also help in answering that secondary broad follow up.

koosobie17 karma

Great questions! I try to remind people that Mindfulness means to intentionally place your attention in the present moment, with kindness. Mindfulness itself does not solve our problems. Rather, it is the tool that ALLOWS us to effectively address our problems.

Thank you that's more concise than my wording for sure.

As far as staying on track, I really encourage beginning with One Minute per Day. Most of my clients have found that so effective that they stick with it, when they see how much they gain from that one Mindful Minute. Also, I give them examples of how it has changed my own life, by increasing my Resilience.

I get that a one minute thing makes it "easier to do", but do you not find that one minute doesn't necessarily cut it? I did a course where we did 3 hours once a week, and at a peak I did about 15-30 mins a day, and I would like to attain that again but it seems like I can't get myself regimented to do it. I'm not generally regimented in the first place. Anyway, I do minor mindfulness exercises constantly, but I guess my stress load is too high to make that amount adequate. Is there anything you can think of otherwise that may help? If not, no big deal. I appreciate your response regardless, already very helpful

koosobie15 karma

Hi, as I was reading that last paragraph, I could feel myself getting anxious! I wonder if you're trying too hard. It sounds like you're making this work. I invite you to try one minute and really embrace it. Perhaps your difficulty in being consistent (notice I did not say "regimented") is that you have made meditation a chore, rather than a gift you give to yourself.

I totally get that and it is my nature to be hard working, sometimes too much so because that's why I have trouble getting the time to do mindfulness in the first place.

I don't mean for it to seem like a chore. I don't think of it as a chore, but I prefer the person I have the capability of being with longer practices. For example, I often find myself trying to focus on the moment, and I'm certain I do many one minute practices through the day. My nature is to rush and be speedy, and do more and more, and I recognize that is not always necessary or needed. However, that's also how I unintentionally lose my time for mindfulness that I tend to need to find my pace again (with a longer practice). The tendency to jump back into quickness and percieved efficiency tends to kind of muddle my attempts at self care, because I let myself go "too free".

To be honest I think what I want or need is a space where people understand mindfulness similarly to what I do so I can talk to them and "recharge", on the basis that I don't have to explain the thought process behind like, everything lol. However I find that when I go to talk to people on r/mindfulness I am met with judgments and assumptions, which I find just makes me more anxious, and I find myself in the same web of trying to find someone to talk to and nobody really "gets it". Sort of how when you have a family member die and people can empathize, but only really people with dead family members really "get it".

Anyways, 75% of my anxiety is lack of sleep lol (night shift). Sorry about that.

And thank you.