kingcal

So, would you say that your isolation is caused more by a drive to work hard and create something or because of the feelings of stress, depression, etc...?

I've also spent the majority of the last ten years teaching abroad.

The stereotype is very well known, but it's complicated.

I wouldn't say that most men who move abroad to teach do it primarily because they think it will be easier to get laid or because they have a specific fetish for that race of women. I would be lying if I said that dating wasn't something that crossed my mind, but no one in their right mind moves half way around the world just to try and meet women.

Yes, being foreign makes us more "exotic" to the natives, but it's a mixed bag. Some women may view you strictly as a novelty. Someone they'd hook up with or screw around with for awhile, but not someone that they'd seriously consider a long term relationship with or marrying. Many of them really just want to practice their English.

On the flip side, I think that, at least in the case of Asia, women tend to feel more liberated when they date Western foreigners. We don't have the same expectations that the men of their country do and tend to be much more interested in letting them be their own individual as opposed to whatever classic gender role their country favors for women. Many of the women I've dated have never dated Asian men or have had bad experiences which lead to them preferring Western guys.

White women have it kind of bad here, and many of them get very defensive and upset. They tend to have the worst outlook on Western men (though it's not uncommon to see local men a little ticked off when they see you with a local woman either). They assume Western men prefer the local women, but in reality, when you live abroad, you just are surrounded by them. I literally know very few Western women. They feel threatened by beauty standards here, as well. On top of that, almost all of the Western women I know have a strong hesitation to date local men, either because of preference or bad experiences (generally due to cultural differences in dating behavior). This ends up creating a very small dating pool for them, and they generally don't do as well as men.

So, did becoming isolated improve your mood?

I feel bad getting this morbid, but what's the end game look like?

I've always had the idea that if I were to be diagnosed with something so terrible or experience a traumatic accident that left me completely dependent on others, I wouldn't be able to take it mentally. My worst nightmare is being "locked in" to my body with no control.

Have you thought about steps you might take in the event that the condition becomes unbearable? Are you in a state where it's possible to have a compassionate end if that's something you're interested in?

What are the Japanese ideas/stereotypes about hikikomori? As an American, we have our own assumptions about recluses or hermits, but I don't know if it's fair to compare them to hikikomori. It's usually a very negative label that is associated with mental illness.