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kiasuten51 karma

REALLY?? 10 years? Wow I feel old.

kiasuten34 karma

This is totally off topic, but I think you just explained an issue I wasn't able to articulate until now.

I have a child that was not planned. My son's father and I are not together, but we were for a few years when I was pregnant. If you had asked both of us before I was pregnant, we both would have told you that we were eventually going to get married and have children.

And I think that right there is the issue with a lot of youth today. First boyfriends/girlfriends become expected life-long partners, when in reality, the relationship is not likely to last long at all. Suddenly something happens-- a pregnancy, graduation, moving, you meet someone-- and that person you thought you'd be with forever is now expendable.

More on topic: In addition to sex education, kids/adolescents need relationship education. I don't know anyone who is actively teaching youth not to rush into relationships, to casually date (not necessarily casually sleep around) because the point of dating is to learn what you like, what you don't, and to find someone you can be with until death.

I've had two serious relationships. One in high school, I swore would last forever. It didn't last 3 years, I was the one to break it off after graduation. My second was in college, it ended with the unplanned pregnancy. This time around I'm taking dating seriously and not rushing into things.

kiasuten6 karma

I'm not /r/Boredinillinois but I also have an implant. It's Nexplanon, a subdermal implant that is a bendy piece of plastic about the size of a matchstick inserted into my upper arm. I've had it about a year, and it lasts for 3 years.

I will wait out the three years, but I can't wait to get it removed. It's in a very irritable spot-- if I'm carrying something, or reaching over something the implant pushes against my skin and hurts. Because it is just below the skin, I expect to see it, but I didn't realize it would be as sensitive as it is.

I was originally on the pill (Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo), then Depo Provera, and now this. I chose this because I seemed to do well with Depo (I was told it's the same/similar drug), and the side effect of no period seemed like a good trade off. I was going about 10 months with no period and suddenly, huge period. That's also a reason I do not want another implant.

I didn't choose an IUD because the thought of having something in my vagina for that long kind of freaked me out, and I eventually failed with the pill so yeah. This is where I'm at.

Edit: There's a risk of it breaking or popping inside my arm, and I would need surgery to have it removed. Also not fun.

kiasuten3 karma

How would that be performed? Externally or internally? Even if it's BS I wanna know.

kiasuten3 karma

I'm so glad someone can relate! My son's dad and I broke up just before my son's 1st birthday (but I didn't move out for a few months). My son is 2 now, and finally his dad is "growing up." Before it was "My only obligation is to make sure he's cared for financially." Which, I can't complain about I guess, but I'd rather have him want to be around. My son was visiting him only because my ex's mom was coming to get him each Sunday. Finally, in the last month or so, my ex has been calling to ask about our son, visiting, wanting to know how he's doing in daycare.

To be perfectly honest, I'm a little interested in knowing what's changed. But mostly I'm just trying to not get jaded by his change in attitude. We shouldn't have been together, we were bad together (esp after the pregnancy) and I need to remind myself of that.

I'll be open and honest with my son about sex and consequences and responsibilities... but ultimately he makes his own choices and I pray in 18 years I'm not a grandma.