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jsmezz11 karma

I work at a long term care residency in Canada, we have 39 cases at our place. I work as chef to cook all the food and help with certain things for the residents. All in ppe gear and whatnot. ... my dad is 81 yrs young, and he is at home, so after work taking care of over 180 ppl I go home to then take care of my dad (dinner, cleaning, laundry etc). After a 12 hr day, then coming home to another 4 hrs of more cooking and cleaning, I get exhausted. I don't mind at all to do everything because he's my dad (..context: mum passed away 6 months ago, as well as our doggo right before xmas..)

However, my mental state is constantly being berated by so many things. And I don't know how I can get through certain aspects. I know exactly how I'm feeling, what it means, and because of that I rationalize and just surpress feelings more. It doesn't help that I have a degree in psychology, or was a suicide cousellor for 2 yrs, or therapist afterwards and can rationalize things but with all this it's too close to home.

All the things I've learned, have been thrown out the window becuase of the fast progression of his deteriation, at this stage of life. Especially after my mum, pup, and shit going on right meow.

My question to you guys, is what would be a good coping mechanism to employ, dealing with such strong influences that make the mind more negative? ... I always try to look at the postive, but sometimes. .. .. ya know?... It's hard. Thank you doing the ama and hope to hear from ya