jaxinator

How does it feel having Johnny Knoxville and Jared Leto right behind you in the AMA queue? It would make me feel...tingly... mmmmm

Sometimes you just gotta go.

I know that feeling.

Alright Mr. Castner, here is one for you. During your time as an officer in the military, have you ever had to deal with subordinates who have done something so utterly stupid it has blown your mind? For example, has a young Airman ever got so black out drunk during a range clearance mission that he ended up wandering the halls of the only hotel in town completely naked? And let’s say that at the same time he is also spitting on the floor, for no reason at all. Now while he is doing this, a long-haul trucker who is looking for a quiet place to rest comes into the hallway and is utterly stunned at the free show included with his hotel room. Lucky for this young Airman, the trucker is not in the mood for some young, tattooed, drunk military guy’s anal virginity. So the trucker goes and tells the hotel staff that there is a naked, drunken guy on the second floor. Now, of course the motel staff has to deal with this. So the nice old lady that everyone knows and loves comes upstairs to handle the situation. Upon opening the door to let the drunken Airman in, she discovers the room to be covered in fecal matter in various locations. The bathtub is just about to overflow, as it has been clogged with toilet paper. Her only reaction is to say “Oh…my…God…” and turn off the water in the tub. She quickly exits the room, and shuts the young Airman in. Once again, the young Airman’s anal virginity is safe as she wanted no part of that ridiculousness.

Hours later he is awoken by a very angry (and rightfully so) team chief, who is amazed that with the amount of fecal matter in the room the young Airman is completely shit-free. Now there is a bit of paperwork to do. So this young Airman receives a letter of counseling (thankfully it was his first dumb mistake). The letter of counseling states the usual about personal responsibility, being an idiot, don’t get that drunk, etc. but also states “Due to the lack of feces on Airman ********’s body and bedding, it may not have been him.”

What is your take on this situation? Was there a ghost that pooped everywhere? Pardon the pun, but was it a shitty setup? Is this young Airman so good at drunkenly pooping that he managed to do it everywhere but on himself? Are there mysterious forces at work here? Aliens? Or perhaps EOD technicians just go a bit crazy sometimes and things end up a bit…messy?

Come on over to /r/eod and we can all talk about it!

Gotta love it.

B-Ri... The EOD community needs this answered.