infiniteskyes

This. As a young teen my endo made it seem like a part of the exam. Even assured the nurse (or usually med student) that it was part of the exam. As an adult I found out it was not part of the exam.

It’s definitely part of the reason why I’m a bit doctor phobic and tend to be more aggressively oppositional during visits (I’m really laid back and calm irl). Usually after I explain this my doctors tend to be more accommodating.

So. Part of the exam was to check on the size of my clitoris. Which is actually part of the exam, as the endo after he left looked to, the new endo was also female and every very by the book, this is what made me ask about the whole thing a few years ago. I’ve come to find out most of the time it’s just a let’s have a look see. Mind you I was like 12 I think. Maybe a little younger, when this began.

This endo made me strip my pants and underwear. As I remember there was no covering like when you go to the gyno or have a pelvic exam. Just my gown on top. And I’d lie down. My parents were always asked to leave because I was at that “sensitive age” according to the doctor. I think at first they were allowed to stand behind a curtain but pretty quickly they were shown to the waiting room. He’d then take a small ruler sometimes and spend so much time “measuring”, and touching. And tell his “witness” a nurse or med student that this was just part of the exam. It was so uncomfortable. And I could I guess understand if this was like a every year thing or every six months. But it was pretty much every six weeks.

This doctor also told my parents (in front of me) that kids my age lie, so my parents didn’t trust a word out of my mouth for years about anything (mostly that the meds were making me sick - when I couldn’t keep anything down because of them he told them I must have been intentionally throwing up to lose weight - I was underweight if anything and I loved food). He also told me I was going to die before I was 30. And to expect to have miscarriages. All when my parents were asked to leave for “privacy”. He ended up going to a hospital in Missouri or something just before I aged out of pediatrics.

I got a new pedi endo and she never measured. Never made me strip my pants and undies. She just lifted the waist and took a peek. She really only did that part of the exam like twice in the year I saw her. She was the one that realized I was being massively overdosed. Thought the dosage was a typo at first. She always asked me if I wanted my parents there. Even dad was allowed to stay if I wanted him to. Never told me anything without asking if I wanted dad there.

Really there is clinical we need to look at this for reasons. And then there is unnecessary invasive exam. It might not have been so bad if I was older maybe. But I was 12 or there about a when it started.

And honestly? I don’t know if there was malicious intent. He had mentioned a few times about writing a case study on me (told my parents it was okay because he wasn’t publishing my name- I don’t know if you are supposed to give consent for something like that. We never did) so I don’t know if I was just seen as a science experiment?