i_am_sexbot38 karma2016-08-29 00:29:05 UTC
It really upsets me that that's how it is, and I'm trying to fight that with Country Club's singles policy. We allow singles of both genders.
I think it's because, even outside of the swinger community, it's more socially acceptable for women to be bisexual than it is for men. Society in general seems to accept as fact that "girl on girl" is hot, but "guy on guy" is just for The Gays. eye roll
But, it is true that the supply and demand is heavily skewed -- there are many more single men interested in swinging, than single women. But I think the solution to that is to let in an equal number of both, rather than shunning one gender altogether.
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i_am_sexbot25 karma2016-08-29 13:59:08 UTC
I had always been into the idea of an open relationship, but all of my old boyfriends were appalled at the idea. I met my now-husband as I was getting out of a terrible relationship. We really got along, but I didn't want to get into another monogamous relationship, as I wanted to try this "seeing multiple people" thing, since I never had a chance to do it before. I told him this. He wasn't into the idea of polyamory, but somehow we arrived at swinging as an idea. And we lived happily ever after :)
How do we not get jealous? A lot of communication. We have some ground rules. For example, we only play with others together, in the same room. We only hook up with another couple if we are both into both of them, and vice-versa. There are plenty of times where he is into her, but I'm not into him, so oh well, it can't happen. No questions asked. And then, there are some more silly rules... For example, two of my past serious boyfriends have left me for a specific type of woman (as an example, let's say, a short redhead with huge tits). My husband has had a serious girlfriend like that before, as well. Since I am a tall brunette with small tits, this repeated coincidence has made me insecure around those kind of women, and, as ridiculous as it is, they are off the table for him. It's a silly, nonsensical rule, really. But it makes me uncomfortable, and he respects me, so it's off the table. It's important to respect your partner's feelings, whatever the reason.
Before we hook up, he and I have a brief moment to ask if we both really want this, and what is on/off the table; just a 5-second chat. During the act, we make sure to check on each other often, even if it's only with eye contact and a nod, or a shake of the head. No matter how much fun I'm having, if he shakes his head that he's not having a good time, I find a graceful way to get us both out of there (or vice-versa). Afterwords, we talk about what we liked and what we didn't, and how it will affect next time.
i_am_sexbot18 karma2016-08-29 00:31:51 UTC
No, actually! Or at least, not yet!
I am in my mid-twenties and my husband is in his mid-thirties, so we aim to draw people around our age. Which is actually easy, considering that we are located in a college town! Our average member's age is in the late twenties. This is younger than what you'd find in your average swingers club.
i_am_sexbot17 karma2016-08-29 01:43:30 UTC
i_am_sexbot17 karma2016-08-29 02:51:11 UTC
He got jealous that she seemed to be having too much fun... So he outed the couple that she was spending a lot of time with. Like, he sent photos to the other woman's place of employment. Damn.
I never spent much time with them; they seemed unstable as a couple and as individuals from the beginning.
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