Highest Rated Comments

hazelristretto29 karma

Holy sweater collection!

hazelristretto4 karma

Follow-up question: do you worry that your job will become obsolete?

hazelristretto2 karma

The Gypsy and the Hobo encapsulates that wistful faint hope in dying relationships, where both parties are taking stock and moving to gently end the cherished routines forgotten after all the combat. Like catching a whiff of spring violet fragrance at a deathbed.

That moment, when Betty and Don look up in surprise, continues to haunt me. Their childlike selves and yearning for love is suddenly exposed, and "Where Is Love" prolongs the moment beyond the scene. Amazing work.

hazelristretto1 karma

My niece is on the threshold of borderline personality disorder. She is in her early teens and has always been exuberant and strong-willed, but honest and receptive to behavioural guidance.

She is also struggling with eating disorders so when I take her out I do have to be firm on the dietary rules set out by her doctors. This is difficult though as she is prone to fits of distress and rage. Her behaviour is becoming increasingly manipulative and self-absorbed, so social outings can be difficult too.

Unfortunately her parent is of no help as she has similar personality issues coupled with major addiction problems. I have seen this woman destroy multiple families, waste or destroy over $300,000 in property, education, cars, vacations, and completely be unable to maintain a stable life for more than 18 months at a time. Children's Aid has always been involved (she lost her first child to the system) but she is exceptional at putting on a front of normality for them. A frequent example of her destructive behaviour is not giving my niece her medication before we go on an outing then screaming at me when my niece has emotional problems. We long ago determined that I am involved in my niece's life but not hers.

My question is, at what point can you tell if someone with this disorder is permanently unable to regulate it? I love my niece very much, but the self-absorbed attitude is hurtful and can be expensive when long-planned activities are scrapped last minute because of her whims, or service industry personnel need to be paid off after an episode. Unfortunately the many custody battles have been lost and she will continue to live with her (sorry, I have to say it) horrible druggie of a mother. Meanwhile my niece is exposed to illegal behaviour, praised when her weight drops below a healthy BMI, and is allowed to "date" men in their 20s.


EDIT: I guess our end plan (the two or three adults involved) is to help my niece graduate high school and be able to move away from her mother without feeling rejected. We want her to feel loved and that she is worthy of friendship, praise, and can live a good life. She is moderately intelligent and when non-episodic, has expressed interest in studying math at university. When she is episodic all she can do cry, play phone games, and obsessively check social media for issues that upset her. She has been hospitalized several times, lost multiple friend groups, seen 50+ pound weight swings and failed a year of school, so there is a lot of damage for her to beat herself up with mentally.