grizzburger

Marge: Well most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man, but those women are quitters.

Lisa: What?

Marge: When I first met your father, he was loud, crude, and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now he's a whole new person.

Lisa: Mom...?

Marge: He's a whole new person, Lisa.

Gonna piggyback off the top comment to say that I just got an entirely unexpected bonus from work today (I've only been with them 9 months and they said nothing about it previously), so if she wants to set up one of those Amazon gift list things to get some stuff for the kids, I would definitely throw in.

edit: lots of people seem convinced this post is a scam, but it has been verified.

edit 2: Christ on a goddamn cracker, you people need to get off my nuts. No I won't buy you a fucking xbox.

Non-prosecution of HSBC seems pretty egregious.

It's a win-only game. You buy wine, you find something new you like. If you don't like it, well at least you get to get drunk.

Seriously, stop being so damn quotable, it's making me jealous.

He'll fit right in here, then...