My younger brother and his biological sister were adopted by my family from India when I was ten (I'm 18 now). He (D) was four and she (M) was eight, and they both had severe RAD and PTSD, so I know exactly what you went through. The girl, who was the older one, had far more issues than he did stemming from abuse, neglect, malnutrition, etc. She was eventually diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, after she attempted to run away multiple times. This was after about five years of extreme violence, threats on our lives, refusal to take her meds which helped her behavior a lot, etc. When I was 15 we met a family that had about 10 adopted children, both parents with degrees in child development, who were well-qualified to help her, so we thought. She had been saying she hated us and wanted to move out for months, and my parents were close to the end of their rope dealing with nervous breakdowns and depression caused by her antics, so when the mother of the family approached us and told us she was interested in adopting my sister, we considered it carefully. In the end we decided it would be for the best for her to not live with us anymore, so we legally disowned her and the other family legally adopted her.
That couple is now divorced. M manipulated them, lying and creating a rift between them, destroying their trust with the help of some of her other sisters. I have some mild trust issues and trauma from living with a psychopath for so long, and I refuse to see or talk to her. Though my brother misses his sister, he knows that it is best for her to be away from us. He, on the other hand, is doing very well, getting good grades in school, and generally getting along much better than M ever did.
I, personally, will never adopt. As a child who went through what I did, I would never want to have to live in that situation again, nor would I want to put any children of mine through it.
...So yeah. That's my story. Thought I'd share since it's related.
gingerdreams373 karma
My younger brother and his biological sister were adopted by my family from India when I was ten (I'm 18 now). He (D) was four and she (M) was eight, and they both had severe RAD and PTSD, so I know exactly what you went through. The girl, who was the older one, had far more issues than he did stemming from abuse, neglect, malnutrition, etc. She was eventually diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, after she attempted to run away multiple times. This was after about five years of extreme violence, threats on our lives, refusal to take her meds which helped her behavior a lot, etc. When I was 15 we met a family that had about 10 adopted children, both parents with degrees in child development, who were well-qualified to help her, so we thought. She had been saying she hated us and wanted to move out for months, and my parents were close to the end of their rope dealing with nervous breakdowns and depression caused by her antics, so when the mother of the family approached us and told us she was interested in adopting my sister, we considered it carefully. In the end we decided it would be for the best for her to not live with us anymore, so we legally disowned her and the other family legally adopted her. That couple is now divorced. M manipulated them, lying and creating a rift between them, destroying their trust with the help of some of her other sisters. I have some mild trust issues and trauma from living with a psychopath for so long, and I refuse to see or talk to her. Though my brother misses his sister, he knows that it is best for her to be away from us. He, on the other hand, is doing very well, getting good grades in school, and generally getting along much better than M ever did. I, personally, will never adopt. As a child who went through what I did, I would never want to have to live in that situation again, nor would I want to put any children of mine through it. ...So yeah. That's my story. Thought I'd share since it's related.
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