getinthetardis

Ha! I work in the W&M bookstore in Merchant Square and this has happened to me before too. Best was when a kid said "Hey you dropped your name tag!" and when I turned around, well aware that my name tag was still on my neck, he handed me a pack of sugar. It took me a few moments to get it.

This is going to get lost in the mound of comments but my chances of ever meeting either of you is very slim (hooray for living in the middle of nowhere!) so I feel I need to at least try to get this out.

The Fault in Our Stars changed my life. Since reading the book in one day (Tuesday. I couldn't stop. I even sacrificed tumblr!) I haven't felt the same. I feel... there is not a word for this feeling. How unhelpful. Whenever I tell people it changed my life they say I'm being dramatic. Because how can a book aimed at teenagers do that to a 23 year old? I don't even know anyone with cancer! And yet... just the sight of seeing the book makes my heart squeeze and my eyes tear up. It wasn't just that the book was sad (which it was), it's that it moved me. I read a lot (a looottttttttt.) so it's not like I've never come across emotional books.

Funny thing is, it was like a part of me knew this book would be special. I work at a bookstore (Side note: Someone used to slip notes into our John Green books mentioning Nerdfighters and including their email address.) and we apparently had trouble getting the book the first week so I ended up going across town to get it at another store full price. (And signed!) I couldn't wait. And once I started I couldn't stop.

When I started reading the book I told myself I wouldn't cry because, as someone who reads a lot, I could pretty much assume that SOMETHING terrible was going to happen. And yet... knowing still didn't stop it. From the moment Hazel arrived at Augustus's house and heard the screaming I broke down. I knew. I cried from that moment on till the very end of the book. A few times I had to stop reading because it was soo bad. Like gross crying. With snot and shoulders shaking. But every time I put the book down I would pick it up five minutes later and think "I need to be strong for Hazel." In my mind she was living through this so I certainly needed to be strong enough to read through it. Three hours after I finished the book I was still crying.

No book has ever done that to me. The last book that touched me strongly was Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami but not even then did I feel how I do now. I see things, people, the world, love, differently. The last 10 or so months I've told myself love isn't worth it all you do is get hurt. Relationships aren't worth it. People hurt you. The world is ugly.

TFIOS taught me that that is true and not true. Even though you will get hurt love can be worth it. The world is not so dull as it may seem. A park statue may really be an entire new world. A swing set is more than a swing set.

I guess the whole point of this is thank you, John. For writing it and giving me (and many others) that story, that world, that adventure. For giving us Hazel and Gus.

This will probably make no sense once I hit send but oh well.

I have such a girl crush on you. :3 You are totally not the opposite of Batman.

Maybe he thought it would work eventually! All I could do was laugh and think kid, I am ten years older than you.