fathersincorporated

I cry inside each and every time a mom asks me this question. Partly because I know that my mom asked the same questions when I was young and she didn't really get any answers. Looking back I can tell you what I needed and knowing that you can find a way to fulfill it for your son. I needed to be in more social circles, sports, hobbies, volunteering. Which would have placed me around friends who were growing up like me and adult men, who served as role models even when they were not in an official position to do so. Find out what his interests are and then find ways to deeply engage him in those interests. Sooner or later, he will find his tribe and ultimately, his chief(s)

One of the key lessons we are learning is that it is critical to rewrite your life story. There are moments like the one you are describing where it is more likely necessary to seek a therapist. Continue to affirm his ability to be a great father and praise in those areas. However at the same time being able to explore his past can help him in moving forward with his future.

Start your conversation with young fathers by asking what kind of father they would like to be and what are the obstacles that are preventing them to do so. Once you establish that dialog, you can put in place a good plan to help them remain involved with their children.

As a dad who struggles with being present in the lives of my very active boys and making sure that I take care of the business of the family and house, I try very hard not to cross the two. Which means when I am with them, I'm in the moment. When they are in their moments, it gives me space to be in my moment. Don't worry about a 3yr old mimicking. That's what they do. When he is older, he will understand the difference between playing daddy and being daddy. Just don't make saying "i'm concentrating" a habit.

The response has to be age-appropriate. A 3-year-old don't need to hear about our need to pay the bills.