farang

I realize that there are a lot of people who will say that I had it coming,

Right.

and I fully accept that.

Good.

The truth is that I am a bad person

Nonsense.

I lose as a human being

Yup. For the moment.

and I deserve nothing but the worst of what life has to offer me in the future.

Ridiculous. Lots of people have done worse.

I have literally lost everything

No, you've got back your sanity after losing it. The rest is just money and can be replaced. Your life can be put back together. It won't be easy, but that's how it goes.

I am suicidal

Get counselling.

I will be judged to the fullest extent over however long a time I have left to live.

Stop whining, yo. You'll hurt everyone who cares about you a lot more if you don't start picking up the pieces and putting your life back together. Damn, it hurts, and it's SO embarassing, but you can absolutely live through this.

Basically, when the light fades and evening sets in, patients react by losing energy and getting cranky.

Sounds a little odd but google it and you'll immediately understand why.

Try Weather Report.

Engine start: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soA-XH89lAw