fairyfloss17

I went in with no expectations. It was traumatic because I was forced to feel every extreme emotion with no control over my body, and it was exhausting. I would talk slower and be dopey and weak; I could barely speak for myself.

I also had the experience of a drug addict, where I craved the high of the ketamine even though I was fully aware that it was an artificially induced addiction. That’s a really scary feeling. It’s like being a lab rat and having someone control your body. I would also dread the huge depressive periods which was most of the time, and even though I’d be aware that it’s ketamine-induced, it still felt horrible.

I had crippling hallucinations as well where the room would actually shake and spin, and I could hear the sound of laundry machines. I thought I was drowning.

It was like battling my own emotions for days and days non stop. At one point, I even thought I had died. My body became so weak and I was sick of fighting the ups and downs.

A girl in the room next to me a nurse told me she was 16, and the hallucinations were so much she couldn’t take it and left on day two. That was heartbreaking.

What I was told is that ketamine could effectively reset my pain receptors so I wouldn’t have constant pain signals being sent to my brain. It also has shown promising signs of regenerating neurons that regulate emotions.

I was in a similar boat to you and only really knew about Special K as a party drug, albeit not a popular one in Australia.

The hopeful outcome would be either a reduction in pain or an increase in my receptiveness to other pain treatments — I’ve had a lot of other medications before including opioids which have zero effect on me.

The best possible scenario I was told by my doctor is to have virtually no pain and have it long lasting enough to only need a mild touch up every few months. It’s simultaneously meant to be a cure for some conditions and a treatment for symptoms.

As for fibromyalgia, think of it like this. A normal person only feels pain when something is wrong, right? For a person with fibromyalgia you can feel pain from anything and everything. That’s the easiest way to describe it, like an alarm system going off.

I’m female with autism so bear in mind I might not come off with severe symptoms/traits. I have always had excellent social skills but had huge trouble with my emotional regulation — small things would make me extremely anxious and sad. I wouldn’t be able to rationalise my emotions and see whether my feelings are reasonable or not.

For example, I would get insecure over an offhand comment from a friend and spiral. Now I can reason with myself more easily. I would feel scared of burdening people with my feelings. That guilt is gone.

I used to be very anxious about confrontation, but I became a lot more empathetic after the infusion. I found out a lot of people I thought disliked me didn’t, they just had their own circumstances going on. I got the courage to mend a lot of relationships and set boundaries with people.

It’s a combination I think of the emotional autistic traits being improved, and the fact my depression has been virtually wiped makes it much easier to empathise with people.

I’m not sure if it’s approved as a treatment wherever you are, but I hope this helps.

I appreciate your good intentions, however, I have tried CBD before in various forms. I’m actively subscribed to r/CBD and 1) it’s only approved for epilepsy in Australia 2) it had no effect on my chronic pain, only a mild anxiety effect. I’ve even tried CBG, full spectrum, broad spectrum you name it — no effect.

In all honesty, after my experience with ketamine I’m a bit scarred off the idea of any illegal drugs. I’m even scared to take paracetamol because of the trauma.

I have seen MDMA clinical trials and before the ketamine I considered signing up to a bunch of clinical trials as well. Typically the criteria are very strict for those kinds of trials so I was rejected from a lot and gave up after a while.

I actually applied for a clinical trial to use ketamine for the treatment of depression and I was rejected on the basis my depression was not severe enough. At the time I was disappointed, but I’m starting to see why the threshold was so high for ketamine.

No, I haven’t. I just took a look and feel kind of sick :( that’s so awful