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enteave_adam493 karma


Great question! I use this analogy with clients a lot:

If you had a dog that you let it run wild all day every day in your home (destroying furniture, eating things it shouldn't eat, barking excessively, etc.), and then one night you randomly decide you want to have peace and quiet, do you think that dog would immediately start to behave? Probably not, right?

Our mind isn't any different. Most of us don't think of our mind like this, but it requires training. If we let our brain "run wild" all day, it's understandable that it will still want to ruminate even when we don't want it to. Training our brain is like training a new pet, it just takes repetition and patience. Meditation can be a good way to reduce rumination, but you could also just start trying to focus on what you're doing in the present moment more often rather than letting the mind drift off somewhere else!

enteave_adam428 karma


I agree, a lot of our anxieties are based on real-life issues. If a client of mine is worried about something, like losing a job, I don't tell the client that won't happen. Sometimes people do lose their jobs, and it wouldn't be realistic or fair for me to tell them it couldn't occur.

Instead, I ask the client to focus on how they would cope if this thing did happen. I'll ask the client to imagine how they would "cope well" if they did lose their job. How would they deal with it in a healthy way? What could they tell themselves about the situation that's supportive/helpful/constructive, what would they do to get back on track or deal with it? I'd ask about past experiences when they faced adversity and were able to overcome it, and we could use their experiences from those times to build a healthy narrative for how they would cope with future problems. Then I'd have them work on repeating this healthier narrative each time they think about the issue causing anxiety, rather than thinking about how they can't cope. Over time, this healthy narrative becomes the default thought when they think about a potential future problem. A healthy view of overcoming adversity is what I consider a cornerstone of resilience.

In Victor Frankel's book, Man's Search for Meaning, he writes about human resilience, and that we can adjust and cope with just about any circumstance. It's important to remember we are alive today because each of us, our ancestors (whose DNA we share), and our species have already overcome countless challenges, and there's far more evidence that we can overcome adversity than there is that we won't . If we weren't able to overcome problems, none of us would be here right now.

enteave_adam362 karma

Great question! They definitely can, I've seen this frequently with clients. Both of these diagnoses can make it difficult to concentrate, which means clients aren't necessarily "forgetting things" but they often just weren't very focused on it in the first place.
I also recommend a medical rule out just to ensure there isn't any medical issue as well. I ask my clients to see their medical doctor and have an annual physical with blood-work done.

enteave_adam239 karma


I find that mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy help the most. Anxiety is usually about wanting to control something or worrying excessively about something in the future we can't yet do anything about.

High anxiety folks are thinkers, always considering different outcomes and they usually have a repetitive negative inner dialogue (also called automatic negative thoughts) about the things they are worried about. In cognitive behavioral therapy, the main concept is that our thoughts influence our emotions, and our emotions influence our behavior. So by changing the repetitive negative thoughts, we start to feel something different over time.

Mindfulness/meditation is also very helpful, and it's something I teach all my clients. I've been meditating for years and it's helped with my own anxiety tremendously!

enteave_adam218 karma

Hello Kotori,

This is always a tough one, and sadly a problem for way too many people out there.

Therapy can definitely get expensive and is sadly out of reach financially for a lot of folks, even if they are using insurance. If someone doesn't have any funds for therapy, there are still some things they can do; (just bear in mind this is all very general and not as a replacement for therapy or healthcare treatment)

  1. Books, there are some great books out there related to mental health. (and sadly a lot of not so great ones.) Some that I often recommend to clients:
    1. The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. This is considered the book for mental health self-help. It's kinda old school, but there's a lot of great stuff in this book, it's been around for decades and is highly regarded in the mental health community.
    2. Miracle Morning: While not written by a mental health profession (just bear that in mind), I have recommended this book to many clients and gifted it to clients and family members as I find it's very practical and has had a very positive effect on both myself and those I've recommended it to.
    3. Here's a list of top self help books from Psychology Today (the feeling good handbook is number 2). https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-self-improvement/202112/the-12-best-self-improvement-books
  2. Support groups: Here's a resource for finding a support group in various topics, including free and donation based groups: https://www.verywellmind.com/find-a-support-group-meeting-near-you-69433
    1. Depression Anon:https://depressedanon.com/meetings/online-depressed-anonymous-meetings/ This is also listed on the verwellmind list I mentioned above. Offers both in-person and virtual free support groups for depression.
    2. Nami Support Groups: https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups . Nami offers free support groups related to mental health, and has a hotline for general support or how to deal with a mental health crisis.
  3. Annual physical: If the person has access to other medical services, like a primary care physical, I would recommend they get their annual physical, and these are generally free under almost all insurance plans. Things like undiagnosed medical conditions, vitamin deficiencies, hormone imbalances, etc, can have a big impact on our mental health and when treated can often improve mental health symptoms.

I really hope this helps! Take care