dwarfed

I upvoted you because I agree with your main point (that fighting is inherently unpredictable and can be absolutely horrific in its repercussions), but there is a difference between voluntarily (and foolishly) putting oneself in a bad situation and "deserving" one of the worst outcomes of that situation imaginable.

Yes, the OP was foolish, but she didn't "deserve" having this done to her.

Legal is one thing, but in Utah that often doesn't mean it can happen. I lived there 10 years, and trust me, a gay man trying to adopt a kid will be nigh impossible. Contacting his congressman - who is likely Mormon - probably won't help. Little short of a lawsuit will. Again, just based on my experience with how Mormonism dictates laws, policies, and power there.