dr-mick2700 karma2018-09-28 17:06:29 UTC
I love this question because I frequently help people do this.
Take a look at what skills you're applying in video games, because they can directly translate somehow. Is it helpful to know that you have attainable goals? Perhaps you feel more at ease knowing that you have space to mess up/die? There's something calming about something being on your terms - in this case video games. They can be a wonderful reminder to persist through adversity and also that mistakes inevitably will happen, so there's no need to apply so much direct pressure on yourself.
Also - talk to people about this. Invite them into what video games mean for you and that they help with your experience. People you trust should be able to support you and help you find ways to translate it. A therapist who understands video gaming could do this as well!
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dr-mick936 karma2018-09-28 17:37:53 UTC
That makes a lot of sense - and I appreciate that you care so much about her and her anxiety. This is a common theme in my practice: let her know it's okay to be anxious. And when her anxiety tries to convince you otherwise, hang in there and be loving, warm, and supportive. Anxiety actually diminishes if you acknowledge it and have a good relationship with it rather than an oppositional one, so I would caution you way from coming at it with "go away, anxiety" as a response. More of a "hey - i see you're here - what are you wanting for me? How can I listen to you but also be boundaried about the way you are influencing my interactions?"
If it gets severe enough - I highly recommend therapy. Especially if you feel lost - she may not like it, but her safety is more important and she will thank you some day!
dr-mick604 karma2018-09-28 17:28:58 UTC
Shop around! It's like a primary care physician. If you don't gel with a therapist, move to the next one. There's no shame in it, and nobody says you have to stay with one once you find it.
I recommend asking friends and family if they've had good experiences to start. Then, check psychologytoday.com and narrow your search down to the issues you'd like to talk about. Read the profiles and see who speaks to you and give them a call! Trust your gut if it doesn't feel right - you're under no obligation to continue with somebody that doesnt make you feel safe/heard
dr-mick430 karma2018-09-28 16:57:49 UTC
Yes - you can help. The most important thing, above anything else, is to reassure the person that it is OKAY to be anxious. We don't get to decide our feelings - they happen. They tell us something. Anxiety is actually a highly protective emotion and it's there for a reason. So, hang in there with the person - encourage them to hang in there too. Anxiety becomes far less of an overwhelming emotion if you have a good relationship with it rather than an oppositional one. In fact, avoiding anxiety or trying to stuff it makes it worse over time.
And that question is hugely dependent on context. In my experience, video games are more harmful if parents or guardians don't take the time to discuss them and monitor what their children are doing, both in game and online.
dr-mick380 karma2018-09-28 17:35:03 UTC
Remind yourself that it is OKAY to be anxious and that the anxiety is there for a reason (often protective). Remind yourself that you are capable of being productive and the person you want to be even if anxiety is around, and that a compassionate heart and mindset toward your anxiety will go a long way :)
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