davidline

Is there a source or any information to get in touch with a psychiatrist or a mental health technician without going to the hospital?

I feel like I can't afford one, but I need one. My mental health is only getting worse, stuck between a rock and a hard place with no way out.

Nobody trusts me, my own parents certainly don't, they rip apart my mail in hopes of catching me on something that I did wrong. I own 2 possessions to my name, which is my car and my laptop.

Failure in college, failure in life, failure with women, failure with my future, everything is my fault that happens to my family, how the fuck do I get out of this cycle?

The only release I get is smoking ciggarettes and marijuana, and I'm getting to a point of almost 2 packs a day due to so much stress, my heart and lungs can barely keep up. I have less and less energy everyday.

My friends, are not friends, at the turn of a dime they will do everything in their power to save their own ass, and dump everything on me, it happened again. I don't know who to turn to so I can even vent without half the town knowing I did. Those that I can trust, live almost two hours away, but yet they never visit or call. It's such a financial strain on gas, tolls, and car maintenance that it feels like the only money I get to spend is pot or the car so I would have the car to work my meager 2 full time jobs.

Where the fuck do I go now?

Thank you,

I have taken already a couple of steps and looked for community services that offer psychiatric help in my area, I left a message at the office.

I have also called my schools public psychiatrist, although I don't know if they will help if I'm not a full time student as of this semester.

Thank you for doing this, as I realize the pain you went through, with my own experience. At the age of 12 I had a severe asthma attack, that almost took my life. It's hard to explain as well because I still lived in Israel at the time. Same story almost, enjoying a nice lunch with my parents on a weekend where I feel like I need my inhaler, no big deal. Untill my face went white from the fear of what was coming as my inhaler didn't help, and I was not in a financial condition to afford more than that. We called a taxi telling the taxi driver I don't have much time and need to be hospitilizied ASAP. The walk to the taxi was 3 minutes long as he got lost, and I remember every second of those 3 minutes visually as I fell behind my dad, barely able to call out to him that I didn't have much time left, or strength to continue. Next part of the story is not some spiritual being helping me get up and walk the last of it, but my will to live, and the extreme adrenaline rush is the only thing that kept me going, however the taxi ride was only the beginning of the worst of it, I do not remember the visual past the point of getting in, but I remember my dad frantically screaming at people to move out of the way, and the sounds of the car being worked like it has never before to save my life. Just before we hit the hospital, I went into shock, passing out, and throwing up everywhere. Then I saw just light, and everything felt really peacefull, I was calm about losing my life, as the pain finally stopped. Next thing I know I wake up to people all around me yelling things and ruining the calm that was all over me, and I passout again, to wake up the next day and be told that I survived by mere seconds, thanks to that taxi driver, and my will to live.

Don't take this experience in vain, use it instead is what I learned from it, it is also why I am always calm, and relaxed whenever problems come up, it also made me realize that I needed to work my very best in life to live longer, thus for the next 2 years I lost over 150 pounds through martial arts, and going to a strict schedule of going to the gym, and I am very happy now. No more asthma attacks, no more pain like that to worry about, and being able to achieve peace through simple things like listening to the birds in the morning. I salute you comrade.

I'm not suicidal by any means, just very depressed after a large amount of shit got dumped in my plate, and the plate is not leaving, it's just stacking higher.

I live in the nj area, and under my family's insurance.

If I go the route of insurance led services, my parents will find out. Most likely cut me out as they don't believe in it, neither will they want to due to lack of funds on their side.

I guess best way to explain it is an exponentially increasing graph in spending and gaining funds. I'm a drain on them enough as it is.