datawing52 karma2011-01-20 18:19:36 UTC
I personally feel that the other members of the kink community here seem rather eager to decry Frank's actions as those of an irresponsible Master. While I don't agree with many of his choices about how to treat his sub, as a Dom myself I recognize the difficulty inherent in the task of possessing/caring for another person. If you'll forgive for being rude: (on the internet! unacceptable.) I suspect that as a result of you're weighted past you're probably a very difficult person to be a Master to. With that in mind maybe we should judge Frank's ability and responsibility by the outcome of his actions. SSC Safe Sane Conscentual. The biggest safety complaints would be the lack of sunlight and health care, but I have more thoughts on that which I will get to in a moment. Conscentual, He released you upon the utterance of your safe word which was established beforehand. He had you notify him of his limits and he respected them. I would have to say that he passes this test in a manner befitting a true Dom.
So now we come to the last trial. The most difficult one, the trial of sanity. The time when we who engage in extreme kink must stand back from our own desires and try to objectively evaluate our choices to determine if what we are doing/have done is a good idea. By my measure Frank took a very injured individual into his life and led them through intensity to an outcome that can reasonably be regarded as good though not without qualifications. That is harder to accomplish than I feel some of those criticizing him have admitted. I wonder if he thinks you were too much of a challenge for him or if he thinks that you were what he was looking for in a sub. I also wonder if it made him grow as a Dom. I do worry about the fact that he didn't let you outside and the long term use of a blindfold. While it seems consistent with his desire to remove time from your life I suspect that it's one of those activities like breath play where even if it's desirable and seems to add to the situation it should be avoided because it's dangerous. Personally I think he bit off more than he could chew, but in the end handled it fairly well. In my book he passes the test though not with flying colors.
As someone who is a Dom and wishes to continue to be one in the future I recognize the challenge faced in this situation and I do laud Frank for overcoming it. I have a collared sub but we do not engage in lifestyle play. Perhaps in the future it will be something I will try (possibly as a result of your words ;-) rebootedgirl). I hope that if/when I do such a thing I will do a better job of it than Frank. I will certainly be more diligent in establishing and maintaining the lines of communication between Dom and sub than he was (I consider that to be his biggest failing). I strive to do better by my sub, but I swear never to do worse. I suspect that Frank made a similar oath, and I would hope that the other kinksters here would recognize the merit in any Dom who holds themselves to that standard. Indeed it is the only true mark of a "real Dom."
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