climballthethingsss

I did not. By the time I left, I had a driver’s license, Masters degree, savings, etc. Leaving the Chassidic community is incredibly hard, probably similar to Amish, because of the language barrier and lack of secular education.

Another thing that helped me leave more easily was that I had no children. I was married once, but got out pretty quickly. When there are kids involved, custody can get messy real fast, and many people don’t leave because they don’t want to cause chaos for their kids. Teenagers who want to leave the religion also go through a lot of pushback and brainwashing. I was in my early 20’s when I left.

The hardest changes for me were emotional. All my life I was led to believe that the secular world was immoral, unhappy, and untrustworthy. The Orthodox community wants you to believe that you won’t survive with them, and I had to learn - and truly believe - that it was a lie.

We went to visit like they were a tourist attraction. I suppose we had some begrudging respect for the way they stuck to their beliefs, but bottom line, anyone who wasn’t Jewish had the wrong belief system.

Even though I don’t come from a Chassidic community, it was hard to watch because many themes hit close to home. I read the book Unorthodox when I was still religious and remember how much hatred there was for the author, because she had the nerve to expose these things about Jews. I thought it was a good show, and hope there will be more like it.

Having a support group is extremely important. I always had a sense of community outside of religion whether it was classmates in college, coworkers, or friends that I rock climbed with. There are also organizations like Footsteps that help people acclimate to the secular world.

After leaving religion, I did spend several years just trying to find myself. I dealt with anorexia for about 8 years, and part of my recovery was finding my identify completely outside of my religion. At times, it was a really painful process and there were some dark years. But now, on the other side, I have found true happiness.

I encourage your client to try new things and figure out what makes him happy, excited, and inspired. He will have to break a lot of mental rules about the meaning of life and I’m glad he is getting professional help.

I don’t know if she got her own hands dirty but I bet she knows exactly what happened to him.