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cleancrack1362 karma

I’m male, early 40s, in a straight relationship. I have no problem orgasming from masturbation, but rarely come during sex with my girlfriend. It started a handful of years ago, before this relationship, and with a different partner. Now my current partner and I live together and I only masturbate very infrequently. Sex has become frustrating for me, due to the infrequent happy endings for me. We still do it, she still gets off, but it’s crazy frustrating for me. A couple weeks ago I wound up finishing myself off after sex while she was in the shower. Any thoughts or suggestions on how to overcome this?

cleancrack399 karma

I use lube, and generally am watching porn. No special nipple tweaking or anything, no tensing.
I feel like I had this problem occasionally in life, but it got worse when I went on Lexapro. My doctor mentioned that it makes orgasm achievement challenging for some on the drug. I think that this suggestion stuck with my and immediately thereafter this problem really started. Thing is, anything I’ve read suggests that the problem usually persists with masturbation, which is why I think it’s not the drug, but the suggestion from the doctor. I told the doctor and she gave me an Rx for a liquid allergy medicine which she said helps in this situation (I’m forgetting the name but can go check if you want to know.) I can’t say the medicine helps with any reliability. So my personal conclusion is that no, I probably don’t lose myself fully during sex anymore, often with a fear or annoyance in the back of my mind that I won’t come.

cleancrack182 karma

Sounds good. We have periodic relationship check-in discussions. Next time we have one I’ll see about broaching it. We’ve kinda beat around the bush on it in the past: she’s alluded to side effects of medication playing into our sex life. I’ve avoided directly connecting the drug and my orgasms, I guess because I suspect it’s all psychological and that eventually I’ll get over it. But after what like 5 years now, maybe that’s not happening without help.

cleancrack12 karma

Yeah, I can go forever, but that gets old! So strange though that I can get off by myself in a minute though.