clarque_

You must make a perilous journey across the Yellow Sea to a remote village that has no name, talk to a one-eyed man who will give you a branch to a sacred willow tree. You then will climb a mountain three days west of that village and find the tree that branch came from. That is where you will claim your Mop of Glory.

Or you could apply somewhere and say you don't puke when you see gross shit.

Sit down, young Robert. Let me regale you with a story.

When I was just a young buck, nary at my job for a month, I encountered a snail trail most peculiar. I follow this trail to a study cubicle where I can only guess a woman was mutilated. The chair was covered with dark, sticky blood. Strange, I thought. I followed the trail the other way. As you might have predicted, the trail led to the restroom. Inside, I found what can only be described as the aftermath of the Elevator Scene from the Shining.

And the SMELL. I cannot even describe it. The handicap bathroom had no ventilation to speak of. In the middle of the carnage was a single pair of women's panties. The kind you wear when you expect to get laid.

I closed the door, went calmly into the men's room, and cursed the world for my cruel fate. Then I got my cart, a mop bucket, my PPE, and got the fuck to work because that's what I get paid for.

TL;DR - Some girl got an insane period and left a snail trail to the restroom, where I can only guess she exploded.

WOMEN. WOMEN. WOMEN.

When they shower they'll pull their tampons out and throw them all willy nilly to some forgotten corner, only to be discovered hours later by some janitor who only found it by smell.

They shit in the showers WHO EVEN SHITS IN THE SHOWERS ANYWAYS and don't even bother waffle stomping it.

They're barbaric.

A student walked up to me, shook my hand, and thanked me for doing my job. My school is a rich white kid school, where 95% of the kids are going on daddy's money and have never worked a day in their lives. For one of them to do that kind of surprised me. I won't forget it.

Janitor from Scrubs, no contest.

The episode where Dr. Cox loses all three patients. Or the episode where Ben dies.

"Where do you think we are?"