chuhai

Do you kiss your clients on the mouth? I ask b/c stereotypically, prostitutes don't so I was wondering if there was any truth to that?

In Japan, it isn't.

At least not at the school my husband taught at. They couldn't even tell you the dates the bombs were dropped or even why the US dropped them.

Edit: elaborated.

This is exactly why I hate the D.A.R.E. program. Lumping in non-dangerous drugs with drugs that will seriously destroy your life is a recipe for disaster. If a teacher/D.A.R.E. officer is constantly shoving the idea that all drugs are awful down a kid's throat, the minute that kid tries weed and realizes it's not so bad they are (IMO) more likely to try hardcore drugs that are actually harmful.

So what do you think about the films Trainspotting and Requiem for a Dream? I personally cannot watch Requiem for "entertainment" but Trainspotting is definitely re-watchable IMO.

Do you think they do the "scene" or actual opiate-user's life justice?

I have this idea that seeing those movies as young as I did deterred me from doing hardcore drugs like heroin. They display how fucking "wonderful" the initial high/feeling is, but then show the consequences of addiction - so I feel a more honest approach is a better way to deter people from doing drugs (as opposed to the D.A.R.E. approach of labeling all drugs as bad and labeling marijuana as a "gateway" drug).

My husband also suffered from UC and he has undergone his first (of two) surgery for the j-pouch. They told him he would be out of the hospital in about 5 days, but it took 7 (not too far off). He was pretty miserable. My husband had his done laparoscopicly (spelling?) so the incision is much smaller than OP (they used "glue", so no staples or stitches), and was accompanied by four other small (1/2 inch long) incisions around the big one to fit in the cameras/etc. Laparoscopic is quicker to recover from because the incision is smaller and it's less invasive, but beware of major shoulder pain afterwards due to the air they pump inside the patient. The painkillers apparently did nothing for this specific pain, but it's totally normal and apparently is just air pockets trying to escape or something.

He is still at home recovering and it has been about 2.5 weeks since surgery. He is able to do everything on his own but still gets very tired and can't bend over/pick stuff up yet. The surgeon basically said it will take about 3 months to get back to feeling "normal" at which point he will be under the knife again to complete the pouch. So right now we're in the recovery/using an ostemy bag stage waiting for the 2nd operation.

Some advice for you - he will be very drugged up basically his entire stay at the hospital, so it's a good idea to be there with him every time a doctor is there explaining things. My husband received daily visits from his surgeon and from an internal medicine doctor at the hospital, as well as an ostemy nurse a few times. Keep an eye out for any new symptoms that pop up and don't be afraid to ask the nurses/doctors if it's normal. A lot of stuff worried us and the surgeon was awesome about reassuring us and explaining why things were happening.

Some stuff we were not expecting: severe swelling EVERYWHERE (including his ball sack). Surgeon said it was totally normal, we were totally freaked out so they did a sonogram and told us everything was OK. This is normal for abdominal surgery (apparently). He will have a catheter in place after surgery and the nurse warned me/him not to let him yank it out. She says she's seen it happen ("guys just get confused and yank it out") and there is blood everywhere. My husband asked his nurse (different nurse) if it could be removed and the nurse removed it w/o looking at the surgeon's orders. The nurse removed it too early and had to get another one put in - it was awful. Another thing we weren't expecting - gigantic bruises in random places. The surgeon explained that blood lost during the surgery will pool in random places and for my hubby it went to his legs, ball sack and a gigantic section of his backside. The bruises didn't show up until about 2 days after surgery, so we were pretty freaked out. He also ended up getting 2 units of blood due to low hemoglobin. But again, the surgeon reassured us this was all very normal for this type of surgery and now the bruises are leaving and there was no tenderness (where the bruising pooled).

The best thing you can do for him is to be there for him/be patient/be understanding (which was difficult at times). My husband got overwhelmed because I was being a bit overzealous in asking if he needed help so I backed off and just let him ask me for help when he needed it. Everyone is different, though.

Also, we received a ton of free ostemy bag samples when we got home from multiple companies w/o even having to call and ask. I don't know how they came to know he'd had the surgery, but they did. Free stuff!

TL;DR: Be there for your hubby and don't be afraid to ask questions of all the doctors/nurses you see...

EDIT: Oh, and apply for FMLA if you are in America. Get the ball rolling on that as soon as you set a date for surgery.