chadmin

I feel your pain. I am also a vet, and I have my own demons. For me, it wasn't friendly fire it was the civilian casualty rate from the missions I controlled. Aside from meds and therapy meditation helps a lot. How has your experience with mediation been?

Mediation really started to help me after a Hindu friend shared his perspective on life. He said "Everything, except this very moment, is nothing but your imagination." After a while this started to make a lot of sense to me and helped my life in a number of ways. When you worry about the future, that future hasn't occurred. You worry about what you think might happen, not what actually will. The same goes with your past. Your past is nothing but a replay of your memory of the event and memories can change over time, imagination plays a big part in filling in memory gaps. The only thing you can be certain of, or that you can act upon, is what is happening right now in this very moment.

I'll also add that there have been therapies developed specifically to alter memories over time and relieve PTSD alter memories over time and relieve PTSD. Have you tried any therapy that incorporates memory alteration? Would you consider it?

How do you feel about people getting you confused with Samuel L. Jackson?

LOL - Talk to me when you have confirmed kills in your log book. :P

Do you ever wish you had become Air Intercept Controller instead? As a former OS AIC I couldn't imagine just working traffic.