cdc194

Here in the U.S. they dye the Chicago river green for St. Patrick's day, as opposed to every other day when they dye it blue because it's natural color is oil sheen and trash.

He doesnt shell it or anything, just bites right through it with his giant white mechanical teeth.

I had an esophogogastroduoenoscopy (sp?) or EGD where they stuck a shop vac hose down my throat (not really, it was a camera but looked huge) to check my stomach and duodenum. I was freaking out because I had had a colonoscopy a few weeks before and was under medicated, probably because I am a big guy (6'2" 250lbs), they took me in and the same doctor was doing the EGD that did the colonoscopy. The nurse took out 2 syringes just like last time and I was like "hey doc, I don't think I had enough medicine last time I can remember everything" and he is like "sure you do" and I was like "You were talking about how you regreted voting for Obama or something" and his eyes got big, looked at the nurse and nodded as she whips out 2 more syringes of the twilight medication. After the colonoscopy I can remember messing with my wife, like before she came in I pulled the sheet over my head like I was dead and could hear her come in the room all akward for a minute, then I was telling her to pull my finger while screaming "It's a matter of life and death!" because the nurse told me to try and fart to get the gas out. Anyway, after the nurse gets syringe 3 and 4 on the table they spray this antigag stuff down my throat while telling me to say "ah" and my voice got all deep like Barry White. I lie down and she starts with the syringes and I feel like I weigh 500lbs all of a sudden... then I am face to face with my wife who says "you are an idiot." Apparently I was stoned out of my mind, I was asking the nurse why was it so hard to clean a soap dish, why do they call them apartments when they are together, etc. I was making such an ass of myself that they actually made my wife drive around back so I wouldn't freak the fuck out of the people in the waiting room. I sat up and realized I was at home in bed, still dressed, and my pockets were filled with alcohol swabs, tongue depressors, and latex gloves I apparently stole while in the recovery room.

TL:DR - I had a big hose put down my throat, they actually had to medicate me for that, and I am an idiot.

Dude, those bouncy superballs are like $0.50s in the vending machines outside of the grocery store.

Call Budget corporate and they will sort it out. The squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Source: Constantly rent cars in East Texas and South Arkansas airports and most employees are pricks. Gotta love that southern hospitality.