I'm sorry to hear of the horrible loss of your mom at the hands of your dad. I lost my mom at the age of 6 (she had some serious depression/psych problems and committed suicide via gunshot). My dad was an adequate, if somewhat indifferent, parent. I believe he was just overwhelmed by raising 6 kids alone, so no harm, no foul. He's been gone about 10 years now.
One thing I took away from this less-than-ideal situation is that I have the freedom to make decisions about raising my kids without the undue influence of a bad parent... that I'm free of bad examples. I'm sometimes strangely thankful she died and did not pass her issues on to her kids, and that my dad didn't take his problems out on us. I now that seems mean, but.. well, it's true.
I try to remain free of bad influence and protect my mental health by not tolerating fools or unnecessary drama in my personal life and avoiding substances that cloud judgement or impair clear thinking. I consider that protective of the potential mental health issues that seem to run in the family.
With raising the kids, I did have to do some research and find good examples to emulate, but it has worked very well.
You dad sounds like a person I would not like or put much effort in to, and might actually avoid, if I were to meet him.
I'm sorry you can't have those great parents you deserve, but I hope you get the great kids and good realionships you do deserve. Enjoy your freedom!
ca37997 karma
I'm sorry to hear of the horrible loss of your mom at the hands of your dad. I lost my mom at the age of 6 (she had some serious depression/psych problems and committed suicide via gunshot). My dad was an adequate, if somewhat indifferent, parent. I believe he was just overwhelmed by raising 6 kids alone, so no harm, no foul. He's been gone about 10 years now. One thing I took away from this less-than-ideal situation is that I have the freedom to make decisions about raising my kids without the undue influence of a bad parent... that I'm free of bad examples. I'm sometimes strangely thankful she died and did not pass her issues on to her kids, and that my dad didn't take his problems out on us. I now that seems mean, but.. well, it's true. I try to remain free of bad influence and protect my mental health by not tolerating fools or unnecessary drama in my personal life and avoiding substances that cloud judgement or impair clear thinking. I consider that protective of the potential mental health issues that seem to run in the family. With raising the kids, I did have to do some research and find good examples to emulate, but it has worked very well. You dad sounds like a person I would not like or put much effort in to, and might actually avoid, if I were to meet him. I'm sorry you can't have those great parents you deserve, but I hope you get the great kids and good realionships you do deserve. Enjoy your freedom!
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