byakuyabankai

OOOhhh very good question brother.

Firstly, apologies in a way, I never like to say sorry for your loss, because it just doesn't do justice. But I will say I am here for you brother if you ever need to chat or rant or anything.

The wanting to roundhouse kick any new parents, that feeling, it was sooo strong at the start, I understand it brother. It started to go away for me personally after about a year, my wife on the other hand, nope, still with her well and truly lol.

The ones that get me now are the ones that don't appreciate their kids. The ones that shout at and refuse to pick up their kids in public. They are the ones I wan't to roundhouse kick now. Im sure that will go in time...... though maybe not.

Thank you again for your question brother and if you ever need me I'm here.

Good question,

​

Some people take offense to sorry for your loss, so its very difficult. Definitely don't stop talking to them, they will open up to you if they want too. Just be there, let them know you're thinking of them, don't bring religion into it and don't say well you can always try again or something like that. Just be an awesome friend.

Oohh, good questions.

My Daughter was called Lexi Jayne,

We did have a funeral, we were very lucky in that the hospital actually paid for the funeral in full for us. Though we also found out that if by chance they didn't most funeral directors will do a childs funeral for free. We did have a full service (though not too religious as were both atheist) with cars and flowers (we had to pay for those understandably). We got to see her in the chapel of rest and say our final goodbyes properly as a family. I actually carried her coffin (casket) into the crematorium and I can honestly say this was the heaviest box I have ever carried. It's something I needed to do though and something I will never forget.

This is a difficult one, Child loss can REALLY effect a marriage, thankfully me and my wife are still together, we are still happy together, though we are both different people to what we were when we first met. We always said if by chance it did break us up we would take some time apart and re-visit our relationship a few months later. Thankfully we never had to do this. We both have our good and bad days but we support each other through this as best we can.

What I wish people knew.

I wish people would understand, losing a child is different to losing any other relative. When you lose a parent or a grand parent, you kind of expect that to happen at some point. When you lose a child everything changes, the grief is different, its not something that you get over.

I have been told numerous times now that I should be over my loss, this is something I will not get over and I will continue to try to talk about.

Also its okay to talk to parents who have lost children about their child and their specific experience. Everyone is different but we all like to talk about our little angels.

Thank you for your question

Yes we do, we have a little remembrance and time to reflect on the 15th, the day she died, and last year on the 20th (the day she was born) a bunch of friends and family got together and we did a lantern release at the beach. Then went back to ours, had some cake and generally chilled and it was kind of like a little party.

Its a funny thing child loss because it is SOOOO Taboo you feel you can't talk about it, I understand that because I had friends who lost children too and I didn't think it was right to talk about it either.

But since losing a child I can tell you the opposite is what is wanted. No parent who has lost a child wants their child to be forgotten, we want to talk about it but we are also aware how uncomfortable people feel talking about it. Its a catch 22. The best thing you could do my friend is talk to those who have lost a child, ask about them, let them talk about their child and how beautiful they were. I can assure you it will mean the world to them.

Thank you for your question

Sorry for the delayed reply.

Understandable you will definitely think about your boys daily. They will never leave your mind. I feel your pain friend and my dm is always open.

I do tell people I have a daughter or mention I'm an angel parent. I am an open book when it comes to talking about lexi. I actually enjoy talking about her. It makes her real.