blopez86

Why is it that you assume she is taking a dig at those that have an epidural? It’s pretty obvious you’ve had bad experiences with those that are part of that community or something of that capacity and whatever has caused you to be so bothered I genuinely feel for you, and I don’t mean that sarcastically.

I don’t speak for her or anyone else that is a doula or home birth assistant or whatever, and I understand any frustration you may feel that she may just be marketing herself...

But my thing is I’ve often thought of doulas as a mix between lawyers and coaches in an odd way (coach because they teach you natural positions to give birth in that include gravity positive positions, or breathing techniques the doctors won’t teach you etc) and they should get paid for the services too shouldn’t they? When you go to court you don’t know the law so you hire a lawyer right? When you go to a hospital to give birth you’re not always going to know what you can and can’t do, what’s within your rights, so having a doula helps you realize and weigh out your options.

I’m not here to say doctors are evil, not at all, but if there’s any bias I can show it’s that a lot of moms get treated like they’re part of an assembly line, “oh you’re past 40 weeks? C section.” “Your blood sugar is a little high? C section!” “Oh you’re nervous about the pain? Why dont we just schedule a c-section!” Hospitals and medicine SAVE LIVES every second of every day, I’m not here to combat that, but why can’t there be a middle ground where birthing people can advocate for themselves instead of being told what to do on the behest of what’s most convenient for the doctors? A lot of people that hire doulas (much like OP who became a doula after her first traumatic birth experience) do so because their first (or following) experiences were so traumatic that they feel like they need support. Her services can provide that support for second, third, fourth time moms etc, or just as well, can provide support for someone experiencing post-partum depression, something not taken seriously enough in our society.

You mention mortality and question what her organization can do to combat that. According to this page here 98.4% of US births in 2017 happened in hospitals, and yet we still have highest mortality rates for a developed country. There are many factors to take into account but it sure seems like this can use some improvement isn’t there? I’m not gonna say a mother knows more about birth than an obstetrician or other doctors but I think over the past 70 years or so the idea of compassionate care has been forgotten and a lot of women’s bodies and mental health have suffered because of it. Again I’m not here to say doctors and doulas can’t both be right or wrong but I feel like the more a woman comes to a birth prepared the more it can help in the long run and that’s what this project is pushing for.

There are other projects in every state I’m sure that use grants and other crowd funded money to give doulas and a birthing space to less fortunate people of color specifically who could not afford it otherwise, and many doulas I know that work full time give their time and attention to those causes to also give back.

I know people in those middle class bracket that do use those buzzwords that are completely ingenuine and do yoga and other “crunchy” stuff for clout but don’t mean any of it other than attention seeking, yet OP is here clearly trying to advocate for others as she may have wished others had advocated for her. I don’t have any papers to say the difference that doulas make on % of mortality, but one thing that isn’t studied enough is the post partum effects that mothers feel after a birth is the % that feel seen, heard, and cared for after having a doula or support person with them before, during and/or after a birth as compared to those who go through it all alone. I think if you were to look into that you’d find that most people benefit long term from that kind of support, and I hope you can look at what OP posted as a positive rather than something negative as I know she intended.

I just stumbled across this, and I think this is great! My wife is a doula and I’ve heard all those statistics about maternal mortality rate and think this is a great idea as she does post partum too!

Coming off the questions off the top of my head: Why did you become a doula? Was it before or after your first birth? Do you see yourself in the near or distant future moving on to midwifery school? What is your favorite aspect of post-partum work?

I wish you the best of luck and hope you keep gaining more traction and attention for a great cause!

Thank you so much for sharing!

I agree with so much of what you said, although it is my wife’s passion, I talk to her a lot about her job, her doula experiences, and though she did not join because of her own experience (we have no children yet!) she was also very adamant about the way hospitals would treat mothers. She has been in this long enough to realize what you have too, that it’s about giving the birthing person their own space to make whatever decisions feel best to them! Literally every thing about home birth and epidurals reflect my wife’s mentality after being a doula for years.

It’s great that even though you’re mostly with repeat clients and not as active as a doula (I assume sorry if that comes off incorrect) I know for a fact this initiative will help push more people to take care of themselves physically, emotionally and even spiritually through interaction with post-partum help! I appreciate you letting me just spill and have conversation, it’s not often as a guy I find others to talk to about my wife’s passions!

Best of luck with everything and I hope the business blows up as it should!!