bettersometime

I'm struggling to cope with my wife's addiction problems/BPD. What is some advice you'd give to handle the ups and downs associated with these problems? It's so hard seeing her go from happy and intelligent to drunk, banging her head on walls. She seeks help for some problems, but never the full scope. As her husband I seem to come across as naggy more than supportive. I just don't think I have the willpower to slowly watch her die. I've admitted her for self harm and alcohol related injuries, everything else feels out of my hands even though the problems are obviously within grasp. It's like watching someone drowning in front of you and refusing to accept the lifeline.

Thank you for everything you do, I can only imagine having to shoulder the burden of hundreds of other people's problems.

Thank you for the advice and kind words.

Thank you, great information and it's nice feeling like I'm not crazy. One follow on question: I've been trying to stand my ground better and walk away when the comments get abusive (they almost always do when she's drinking). The requests or boundaries (not yelling in the house all night long, waking up the neighbors) are usually ignored. I have two kids so I can't exactly leave the house, what's a good tip for defusing the situation? Walking away only works about 30% of the time until she regains control by hitting herself, hitting her head/pulling her hair, I can't ignore that behavior when it's destructive. I've been to the ER more times than I can count and frankly I don't want to sit there all night, have her get checked out 12-72 hours later, then add that to the list of things to blame me for.

Sorry for the ranting, thanks again for your time and I applaud your profession.