beatleboop

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. You've given me a lot to think about. I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me ;) I'll have to give your book a read.

Hi Dr. Stevens! Would your book be useful for those of us who haven't experienced the level of physical and emotional trauma that you have? I come from a very ...unfair situation with a narcissistic, violent, and largely absent parent. I raised myself and my sisters under the weight and strain of a mentally ill parent - handling their jealousy, constant gas lighting, and ..well name-calling (though it feels worse than that). I'm finally almost free from this situation (only took 27 years) but admittedly, I go through depressive swings with my emotions. And they're some of the hardest moments in my life. ..It makes me question my self. Mostly I think I'm scared that I can't afford treatments or things like medication. I'm always working through my past in some capacity, and it puts a good amount of strain on my husband. ..Is there an advisable way to proceed? Can I read books and think deep until I feel better? Can I overcome instability on my own? I have come a long way in my life and looking back I can see the substantial improvement I've made on my own. But reading AMAs like this make me question that progress. Make me question if doing things my way will work out. ..I really dont like the idea of medication. I feel like I can power through with force of will. But here we are, with a lot of talk about ..depression being a permanent aspect for those with traumatic childhoods.