I’m struggling quite severely with fixated behaviours at the moment.
Some background:
My partner of 5 years and I broke up over a year ago. My work contract ended a few months after. I’ve been unemployed since. I struggle with language tasks and tend to procrastinate, as a long time writing essays in uni then 7 years as a teacher marking and giving feedback has resulted in written and verbal communication being stressful. I suffered a long-term B12 deficiency. I lived in one city and drove back to my hometown during the weekends to see my son. I drove 17 hours a week to commute for work. Before and during this, my hormones felt out of kilter and I’d be up til the early hours feeling sexually frustrated (probably not the correct term).
The problem:
I fixate on things that are unimportant, like making a video, playing a game, fixing a broken item, making myself available for people even when it’s not what I want to do. I will deprive myself of sleep / food / hydration / hygiene if one of these tasks is complex. Every day I dream or ruminate of the break up.
My perspective:
I burned myself out with work (and partly due to a deficiency), and having geographically split responsibilities, and suffered consequences in my relationship and my life. I now continue to burn myself out even more, and fixate on things rather than take a healthier approach. I know I am hurting myself, but I don’t know what the problem is or where to seek help or where to begin.
My dr has treated the B12 deficiency and I have regular jabs. I don’t feel like I stopped during many years of work, and the drive to push through times where I’ve had to be ‘always on’ has resulted in this year of unemployment where I’ve given myself no rest and instead developed fixating behaviours.
My questions:
Where do I begin? How can I refocus? What is happening? Why do I hurt myself like this?
batterystaple442 karma
I’m struggling quite severely with fixated behaviours at the moment.
Some background: My partner of 5 years and I broke up over a year ago. My work contract ended a few months after. I’ve been unemployed since. I struggle with language tasks and tend to procrastinate, as a long time writing essays in uni then 7 years as a teacher marking and giving feedback has resulted in written and verbal communication being stressful. I suffered a long-term B12 deficiency. I lived in one city and drove back to my hometown during the weekends to see my son. I drove 17 hours a week to commute for work. Before and during this, my hormones felt out of kilter and I’d be up til the early hours feeling sexually frustrated (probably not the correct term).
The problem: I fixate on things that are unimportant, like making a video, playing a game, fixing a broken item, making myself available for people even when it’s not what I want to do. I will deprive myself of sleep / food / hydration / hygiene if one of these tasks is complex. Every day I dream or ruminate of the break up.
My perspective: I burned myself out with work (and partly due to a deficiency), and having geographically split responsibilities, and suffered consequences in my relationship and my life. I now continue to burn myself out even more, and fixate on things rather than take a healthier approach. I know I am hurting myself, but I don’t know what the problem is or where to seek help or where to begin.
My dr has treated the B12 deficiency and I have regular jabs. I don’t feel like I stopped during many years of work, and the drive to push through times where I’ve had to be ‘always on’ has resulted in this year of unemployment where I’ve given myself no rest and instead developed fixating behaviours.
My questions: Where do I begin? How can I refocus? What is happening? Why do I hurt myself like this?
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