banjaxe

When my condo burned, I pulled the fire alarm. Nothing happened. I tried calling 911. Couldn't get through. Kept trying, but I was resigned to watching it burn.

Firefighter at the station a half mile away was smoking outside and saw the smoke. They arrived a minute or so later. (irony: a cigarette also started the fire. Don't have couches on your upstairs balcony folks.)

They ran into the upstairs condo, and pulled my neighbor's terrified shit-covered pit bull out, and went looking for the cats in the other upstairs condo. They got one, but the other died of smoke inhalation.

With the level of flames coming out of the upstairs, I was extremely impressed a) that they went in at all and b) that they found things still alive inside. The one with the cats was completely gutted in the end, incidentally. The new mom who lived there was doing dishes at the time, and her wedding ring was "welded" into the stove it was sitting on.

So, uh.. Thanks for doing what you do. We all appreciate it, I'm sure, but some of us appreciate the hell out of it.

Surefire method? Nicotine patch. Fuuuuuuuucked up dreams. I woke up one morning, made a pot of coffee, went to work, sat at my desk and my boss comes over and asks me why I am covered in blood. Then I woke up, and there was still coffee in the pot. I woke up 2-3 more times before I was actually awake. I felt off the whole day.

Well considering I'm home alone right now

I don't know why but this strikes me odd. I promise I'm not judging you or your parents but I think if this had happened to my kid, I don't think I'd ever let them out of my sight again.

Glad you're ok man.

You're telling me. At one point I had a briefcase nuke and was running from someone. It was pretty horrible.

You want some superhot peppers? You could post YouTube videos like a champ!